For The Longest Time
by solofia
Summary: After getting treatment and starting a new life, Christina starts building a relationship with her now 13 year old daughter, one visit at a time. Meanwhile Lilly navigates being her niece's adoptive mother with a birth mother back in the picture and a traumatic event has put life into perspective for Scotty. Set in 2022-2023 and sequel to Reappearance (reading not too necessary).
1. October

**After three months of sporadically writing bits this story is finally being published on here. To those who read the previous story welcome back and to those who are new I hope you like what I've done with these characters. **

_29__th__ October 2022 _

Christina stood in front of her sister's staircase hearing rushed footsteps upon a call from Lilly as she closed the door. Soon enough the footsteps became a teenager in a white t-shirt, red cardigan, black leggings, denim skirt and kitty slippers, standing on the last step awkwardly.

"Hey kid."

"Hey." Masie made no move from the stairs.

"Happy birthday!" Christina pondered going for a hug but decided not to get too cocky.

"Thanks." She gave back a tiny smile

"What you kids up to?"

"Not much, just playing cards."

"That's cool."

"Yeah." Masie kept her eyes on a floorboard, swinging one leg back and forth slightly.

"You know it's okay to say you want to go back upstairs right? I'm fine with spending a bit more time with you after your friends leave."

"Thanks!" She smiled apologetically and ran back up the stairs disappearing into her room in seconds.

"Awkward and a little moody, she's 13 alright." Christina sighed, hearing the giggles coming from upstairs.

"She'll go back to normal once her friends are gone." Lilly hung her sister's jacket before patting her shoulder.

"How many of those are there upstairs?"

"Gabe, Sam, Avery, Jordan and… Peyton? Yeah Peyton. So five."

Christina did a double take upon hearing the names. "Those are all boys? She might give us some headaches then!"

"No, Gabe's the only boy, we're in the clear so far." Lilly gave her another reassuring pat on the shoulder, feeling guilty about not having shared more party details beforehand.

"So she has a lot of friends?"

"Not really, Gabe is her best friend and Avery has been around for maybe 5 or 6 years. Sam is new at school, Masie though it would be nice to invite her, Jordan is a girl she met at piano and hadn't seen for a while and wanted to catch up with and Peyton… I'm not sure why she's here."

"Why?"

"She's not the type she usually befriends." Lilly sat on the last step of the stairs, taking an arthritic Olivia into her lap and petting her.

"What's Peyton's type then?"

"Popular."

"And Masie isn't?" Christina had wondered how her child would turn out socially from time to time. She'd been fairly popular in high school but the sister raising her kid had been a darker, more cynical teenager, too good to go to prom despite having a boyfriend to take. She wondered if Masie would fall somewhere in the middle of their opposites or lean more towards the nature or nurture side of things.

"Not really no… I don't think it bothers her much, she mostly keeps to herself. She usually only goes by unnoticed and seems okay with it."

"Do you suspect something?"

"Maybe, I don't trust that kid." Olivia meowed demanding to be let go, feeling her owner tensing up.

"Well she's growing up, maybe fitting in is becoming more important to her." Christina sat down on the stairs next to her.

"Still…"

"And don't you barely know Sam?"

"I know she's diabetic that came up when I spoke to her parents."

Christina rolled her eyes "You're being silly."

"I know it's just… she's 13 already. 5 years and she's out of the house…"

"Awww, don't you sound like a mom!" Christina threw an arm around her, giving her a side-hug.

"Notice how you said a mom and not mom." Lilly wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.

"Do you ever… wonder if she'd have liked Masie?"

"Probably would have loved her." She smiled almost wistfully.

"Do you think she'd show it better this time?"

"I like to think so… even if I don't entirely believe it."

"You are doing great." Christina smiled, tightening her grip around Lilly, attempting to lighten the mood.

"You are too." She earned a smile back.

"So… any adults here?" Christina got up from the stairs, dragging Lilly along with her.

"Let me show you to the grownup's table."

Peeking into the living room Christina recognized a head of black hair in a dark hoodie, sat on the couch.

"Hey Scotty." She said while nudging Lilly in the arm, the conviction that something must have happened between them still strong from the previous month.

"I'm not Scotty but hey to you too." The head turned towards her revealing a baby faced Scotty Valens who could never be older than 25, let alone 48.

"I'm sorry it's just-"

"I know, I look a lot like him. I'm his nephew Emilio, Gabe's brother. Em for short." Emilio got up from the couch and extended his hand, the Valens dimples present on his still boyish cheeks.

"To me you're baby." A woman entered the living room coming from the kitchen and pinching the aforementioned dimples.

"Moooom I'm trying to work, my whole semester is on fire!" Emilio retreated back to his spot on the couch, placing a laptop in his lap and returning to what Christina assumed to be coding of some sort.

"Don't mind me!" The woman tussled his hair jokingly earning an eye roll before turning to the other occupants of the room. "Hey Christina I'm Allie, Emilio and Gabriel's mom and Scotty's sister-in-law."

"Nice to meet you."

"Masie hasn't shut up about you in weeks, I've been so curious to meet you!"

"She has?" Christina felt a stirring in her chest, the welcoming nature of the woman she'd just met barely registering in comparison. Eventually she was snapped back from her reverie by hearing more words from the woman.

"Oh where are my manners? This is my husband Mike, Scotty's brother. I don't think you've met him yet."

Allie was right, she hadn't met Mike yet nor had she noticed him entering the living room. "You are correct, heard about him a couple times though." They shook hands, Christina taking the opportunity to compare Mike's features to Scotty's, noticing Emilio seemed to look more like his uncle than his father.

"Do I need to be introduced too?" Scotty peeked his head from the kitchen doorway, an apron around his neck and an oven mitt in his hand.

"That depends, do you have any more nephews that look like you?" Christina entered the kitchen to greet him with a hug, startling at a familiar voice.

"Maybe I need an introduction, it's been sometime."

"Lindsey?"

"Hey Chris." A woman that resembled the lame teenager she once knew was sat at the kitchen table with a bowl of chips.

"You've-"

"Gotten as old as your sister? Yes I know." She got up to hug her only for Christina to break the hug as quickly as humanly possible to stare at her.

"I haven't seen you since the 90's!" Not a single black piece of clothing? Just one earing per ear? A macramé necklace? A smile?

"Lindsey was a big help with the adoption." Lilly added, feeling the need to fill in the gap, in case Christina had never connected the dots between the Lindsey calling her lawyer 12 years ago and the one standing in her kitchen.

"I know some people and I'm good."

"Still smug, for a second I thought you'd been replaced by an android." Christina joked, the shock starting to wear thin.

"Congratulations on everything, in my field I don't get to see this too often." Lindsey said sympathetically.

"Thank you."

"Let's not talk about the past today, it's a joyous occasion." Mike cut in.

"We are celebrating the passage of time genius!" Scotty replied.

"When Ma gets here I hope she smacks you upside the head." Mike retorted, returning to the counter he had stationed himself at.

"Your parents are coming?" Christina froze. Lilly had talked about Rosa and Ramiro Valens before, how kind and helpful they'd been with Masie, how she'd gone to a couple family reunions and had even taken to spending Christmas Eve with them. They sounded lovely and that was calming… but she realized they were also fiercely protective of their own and that they might not be wild about her for the whole child abandonment situation. That was a dumb thought, didn't Lilly joke the other day that they wanted to invite her to dinner? Why would they hate her… what if they were overbearing instead? What if they wanted her to know all the other relatives? Not even Lilly can keep track of them!

"They'll be here in an hour or so, Vera offered to pick them up." Scotty said, nonchalantly removing a cake from the oven.

"Vera wanted dibs on your mother's turnovers you mean." Lilly added, pulling a chair for Christina, not realizing how much she really needed one.

"Vera? So your work friends are coming too?" They seemed nice from what she'd heard and what she remembered all those years ago but even more people?

"They're family to these two of course they have to come!" Allie started clearing her side of the table and replacing the previous utensils with piping bags and sprinkles, presumably for the cake currently cooling on the windowsill.

"Dad couldn't make it this year, he's visiting Finn in Seattle but he'll be here for Thanksgiving." Lilly told her, the panic somewhat receding at the prospect of not having to face the people she'd stolen jewelry from 12 years ago and hadn't seen since.

"This party has more people than all our Christmases growing up put together Lil."

"Nonsense! It takes a village to raise a child and that girl has a big one for her right here. You want to try a bit of homemade sangria? It's for grownups only but usually a hit with the ones who aren't designated driver." Allie handed her a glass, sticking her tongue out at Mike who in this case, Christina assumed has the one driving that night.

"Thank you." She took the glass. "Thank you all." She added, in such a whispered tone only Lilly could hear it.

"Do you want to help with the cooking?" Allie asked.

"I'm not much better than Lil." Most things she could make by herself she'd learned from her roommates right after rehab and she wasn't even sure if half of those counted as a meal.

"She was a little shaky at first but now she gets by just fine!"

"She picked a few things up from you then Allie?"

"More like from me." Scotty cut in, smug grin firmly in place.

"Scotty Valens culinary professor?" What else did he do for those past 12 years? Was he also the maid? The gardener? The pool boy despite there not being a pool?

"That kid wasn't going to be raised on Lunchables on Uncle Scotty's watch." Scotty added, earning a dish rag to the face from Mike.

"Then shut up and peel those potatoes!"

"Care to join all this fun Chris?" Lilly asked, handing her a second peeler.

"Sure." She smiled, picking up a potato.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"If it weren't for me you wouldn't even be talking about:"

"Father daughter-incest!"

"AVERY!" Gabe yelled.

"What? It's how you play this game."

"What did the rest of you pick?"

"Sexual tension."

"Dying of dysentery."

"When you fart and a little bit comes out. What the hell kind of card is this?" Jordan complained.

"Fine Avery wins." Gabe conceded, scowling at the prospect of Avery winning yet another game of Cards Against Humanity. Emilio hardly ever let them borrow the deck and when it was finally his he almost regretted playing it upon realizing just how dark Avery could be.

"Yay!" Avery took her sixth skittle from the bowl next to the deck, their version of a score card.

"I'm bummed, I haven't picked the throwing a virgin into a volcano one from the pile yet." Masie complained, having only 3 skittles so far.

"Let's just keep going I'm on a roll!" Avery started distributing the cards for the next round.

"You are way more twisted than I ever imagined." Sam giggled, her only win so far having been with the "consensual sex" card.

"Hey Peyton you sure you don't want to play?" Masie asked after reading the "3 dicks at the same time" card she'd received.

"Nah." Peyton replied, not taking her eyes off her phone, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Do you want to do something else?" Gabe asked, his time as card czar wearing on him.

"My ride should be on its way, it's not worth it." She rolled her eyes.

"You've been moody all day is something wrong?" Sam asked, sneaking a skittle from the bowl when Avery wasn't looking.

"Maybe with you geeks." She mumbled.

Avery's bat ears caught it, making her put down the deck and stand-up confrontationally, nearly catching Sam stealing another skittle. "What exactly is wrong with us geeks?!"

"I'm not supposed to say this but I only came because I heard boys were coming too." Peyton crossed her arms as well, putting down the phone for once.

"So, here's a boy, no false advertising!" Avery took Gabe by the shoulders and pulled him up to a standing position.

"And then we see a Pixar movie and come home to play cards for the rest of the day." Peyton huffed.

"If you wanted to do something else you could have suggested little miss thing!" Jordan replied, throwing a skittle at her head, hitting her right on the forehead.

"Like you were going to go along!" Peyton said, pretending to not have felt the yellow projectile.

"What, you thought we were going to play spin the bottle or some shit?" Avery joked. When Peyton had nothing to snap back with realization dawned on the kids.

"YOU DID!" Masie's mouth fell open, the whole day making a lot more sense.

"You want this stud that much we'll throw the both of you in the hall closet and see what happens!" Avery snapped.

"AVERY!" Gabe freed himself from her grip on his shoulders and sat back down next to Masie, silently begging her to protect him from another Avery outburst.

"Or I'll make out with you whatever Peyton." Avery added, making kissy faces at Peyton.

"Ewww!" Peyton cringed.

"How's that any more or less gross?" Gabe asked.

"I don't know if you people are mega virgins or sex freaks anymore, honestly!"

"I'll take mega virgin with no homophobia." Masie replied.

"If that's your thing have fun, keep up this disturbing game." Peyton returned to her phone, trying to will her parents into arriving quicker.

"It is a lot more fun if you play it…" Gabe offered.

"Nerd." Peyton huffed.

"He's the coolest nerd I know! You should see him playing Dungeons and Dragons, we play once a month at his grandma's with his brother. We even got his abuelo in on it. He is a Dragonborn warlock, I myself prefer being a druid-"

"Peyton! Your parents are here!" They heard Lilly shout from downstairs.

"That's my cue to leave." Peyton got up, put on her coat and slung her purse over her shoulder. "Bye girls! And …Gabe?" She announced from the doorway as if the past conversation had never happened. "See you Monday!" She blew them a kiss and dashed down the stairs.

"She's really lame." Jordan said.

"Yeah." Masie got up and closed the door Peyton had left all the way open.

"Why did you invite her?" Avery asked, taking over the now empty spot at the edge of the bed.

"I think she invited herself really." Masie shrugged, returning to her spot next to Gabe.

"Next year say no!" Avery replied, smothering her face in a pillow.

"Planning on it. My turn to be czar now!"

Masie distributed another round of white cards and read the first black card off the deck, as her friends returned to their spots and went over their games. "Daddy, why is Mommy crying?"

Avery let out a tiny maniacal laugh to which Gabe had no reaction but a desperate "Not again!"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

An hour and a half later only Gabe and Avery were left and dinner was served. While everyone ate Emilio decided to show everyone a gift for Masie, from him and his parents, hooking up his laptop to Lilly's television and hitting play on "A collection of mild embarrassments _ version 2.3 _ Aunt Lilly approved". The mystery project turned out to be a series of phone videos the people present had captured over the past 13 years starting with a video of an infant sitting in a high chair while an off-screen Scotty kept asking _"How old are you today Mase? How old? Show me your fingers! How many fingers Mase?"_ prompting the baby to raise one finger and giggle. The video went over a series of other moments captured, one for each year of the birthday girl's life, from first trip to the beach to first day of school to first day of eighth grade, filmed by Lilly just weeks prior. After the 13th video Masie was about to get up and thank Emilio for all his hard work editing when a "bloopers" section began.

"Oh God!" She cried.

"_Hello, my name is Masie Elena Rush, I'm six years old and this is my audition for the Chiquititas remake in America. I have seen every episode of the old version and the other less old version and can speak limited Spanish. My favorite character is Magali from the less old version but I really like Mili from the old old one." A little girl in crazy pigtails, rainbow tights with pink tutu, orange polka dot t-shirt and green raincoat with blue butterflies stood in Rosa Valens' living room next to a very uncomfortable looking little boy with a candy necklace and mismatched gloves._

"There was never going to be a remake of that you jerk, why did you do that to me?!" Masie hit Emilio in the arm.

"I was your current age and bored."

"_This is my friend Gabe. He is not auditioning but he is my backing singer so you'll need a replacement for him if you choose me. __On 1, 2…3! Hay que estar atentos para ver salir el sol…"_  
"I'll get you back for this Emilio!" She swore.

"Your choreography could use some work Mase. I say this as your friend." Avery said.

"Do you want me to go after you next?"

"Watch it kid, you get any taller we'll mistake you for Rush with that talk." Vera snickered.

While the whole scene unfolded, Christina stood against the back wall watching intently all that she had missed, speechless. Lilly tentatively put an arm around her, squeezing her arm. She mouthed a silent thank you and both proceeded to watch the remaining video.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

While the washing was being handled to make room on the table for the birthday cake Masie came up to Christina and asked her upstairs.

"So this is your room?" Christina asked, inspecting every single chachki on the shelves and trying to connect them to the girl she was finally getting to know.

"I realized you didn't see it last time, we were mainly downstairs."

The room was a pale lavender, the same color it had been back when it was Lilly's office, containing a twin bed, closet, bookshelf, desk and a couple shelves bolted to the wall right above said desk. There were some toys in the bookshelf still, mainly dolls, and quite a few stuffed animals adorning the bed. She could see a couple picture frames, but tried not to inspect them too closely, knowing she wouldn't be in any of them, returning her attention to the toys.

"You didn't strike me as a girly girly, I see a lot of dolls."

"There are several boxes of Legos in my closet to balance that out." Masie sat on the bed and gestured Christina to sit next to her.

"We had a box once when we were kids, it was a bootleg version and we could only build a robot or a castle but we loved it." From the spot on the bed Christina could see a red backpack under the desk, recognizing it from the clip of her first day of school. Did she still use it? Did she still want it or did Lilly want her to keep using it as long as it was in good condition? Had she picked out herself? It was plain red and closed with a buckle it didn't seem like a little girl's first choice. The cat plushie hanging from it came with it? Had it been a gift? How could such a random item like a backpack make her wonder about so many things?

She was snapped back from her reverie by Masie turning to her and starting to speak.

"I just wanted to say sorry for how I greeted you today; we were playing a game and I didn't want to miss that round but that is no excuse. I should have given you a hug or the very least climbed down that last step."

"It's okay I understand." She was apologizing for being a kid? On her own? Christina felt her heart melt a little, how could she have stayed away from that sweet girl for so long?

"And I just realized this is the first birthday you spend with me. When we watched the video downstairs I saw mom hugging you and I figured I should have put more value on it." The melting of her heart soon inflamed her tear ducts, threatening a cry of happiness and making way for a spontaneous hug.

"Oh sweetie you thinking about that sort of thing is more valuable to me than you'll ever understand! I just want you to be happy, I'm last on the line of priorities, don't worry so much about me I'm not going anywhere." Christina broke the hug, lightly brushing her daughter's cheek while noticing her dimples smiling back at her from the younger face.

"Thanks." The simple word and smile made Christina think of the item still in her jacket pocket, figuring it was a good a time as any to give it to its recipient.

"Since we are up here maybe I should give you your birthday present. I wanted you to open it away from the fuss." In fact, opening it away from the fuss was imperative.

"Awww you didn't have to get me anything!"

"You should have had it with you sooner." Christina nervously pulled an envelope from her pocket and handed it to her.

"Ooo an envelope, what could this be?!" Masie excitedly tore it open.

"It's not much but-" Masie's face froze, making Christina stop talking and wait for any further reaction.

"Is this me?" Masie turned a photo around, showing a newborn baby in a towel crying.

"Yes."

"I'd never seen these before." Masie flipped through the photos, stopping on the last one which featured her, still not properly wrapped in a towel and probably not even in a diaper, on Christina's chest, her birth-mother staring down at her lovingly.

"The midwife took these right after you were born, they're your first baby pictures."

"Did you keep them all this time?" She asked, a tear appearing behind her glasses.

"I had a couple pictures from those first few months but they were lost after our rescue, I called the midwife last week and asked if by any chance she still had these. She miraculously saved the negatives and mailed them."

"Negatives?"

"Yeah, they were taken with an analog camera, they were starting to be few of those even then."

"I love this, thank you!" Masie threw her arms around Christina, a small cry escaping.

"You're welcome baby girl." Christina hugged her back with as much strength as she could, for a second almost feeling like she was holding her newborn again.

"I go from teenager to baby girl just like that?" Masie joked.

"If things had gone better I'd have called you that a lot more." The hug was broken and Christina tucked a strand of hair behind Masie's ear.

"Mommy dearest is fun and all but I should come up with a replacement for it, it's kind of a mouthful."

"You have the rest of my life to do that, take your time." Christina smiled.

"I think it will probably take me less than your lifetime."

Christina was going to chuckle at her when a bright blue jar on the desk caught her attention "What is that container on your desk?"

"Oh, that's Gabe's birthday gift to me. It's slime. He made it himself, it's blue because that is my favorite color and he made little Billy Joel charms to mess with me. And added some white beads as pearls."

"That's so sweet I guess." She understood nothing of what had just been said but Masie sounded happy at least.

"He's my best friend, he better be!"

"Yeah I had a quick chat with that girlfriend of yours, she seems cool but is something wrong with her? Hyperactivity or anything like that?" In that moment they heard a loud thump followed by Avery's voice screaming _"I'm sorry Detective Vera!"_

"Nah, Avery is just not very used to eating sugar. She's been working towards being a professional dancer since she was three and her mom doesn't let sugar in the house."

"So all that is a sugar high?" They heard Avery shout again _"We are out of ice in the freezer, will peas do? Not pee as in urine but pea as the vegetable!"_

"Today at the mall she had a doctor pepper and ran three laps around the food court. And finished with some cartwheels and a death drop."

Lilly poked her head inside the room cautiously, knowing who was inside. "Hey."

"Hey." Christina said back.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"Not really, do you need help?" Christina asked, beginning to stand up from the bed.

"No, I was just coming to get you two, we need to do cake now before Avery's parents get here."

"We're coming!" Masie sprinted past Lilly and ran down the stairs, leaving the sisters alone in the room.

"How did it go?"

"She loved them."

"I told you she would, no reason to be that nervous about it." Lilly reminded her, earning an eye roll.

"Yeah, I know I should start listening to you."

"40 some years ago you mean?"

"Is Vera alright?" Christina asked as they descended the stairs.

"He couldn't have children anyway, he'll be fine."

"Those poor parents…" Christina whispered, grateful for how quiet and calm Masie had turned out.

"I'll have Avery fetch people's coats from my room one by one so she'll tire quicker, it usually calms her down."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Bye Boss!" Masie said as she hugged Stillman goodbye.

"Congrats on one more year of insisting on calling me Boss kid. Happy birthday."

"You're welcome and thanks." Masie grinned.

"I'll walk you out Boss." Lilly offered, turning him towards the door.

"Thanks Lil."

"You don't even play hard to get with this?" She joked.

"I wanted to talk to you in private." The mood tensed as they crossed the threshold into the street.

"Is something wrong? Are you ok?"

"Lil I'm past 70." Stillman declared calmly.

"This better not be going where I think it's going."

"I tried putting it off for as long as I could but they're making me retire." He announced, sounding strangely at peace.

"When?"

"January, that's the most I could negotiate."

A sharp pain hit Lilly in the heart. "But if Jeffries is leaving at the end of November who is taking after you?"

"I have some recommendations to make."

"You thinking about anyone?" Lilly questioned, running through every qualified person she could think of in her mind and not liking any of the options.

"I am."

"Boss nobody could replace you."

"I'm going to make the announcement to everyone on Monday. I just wanted you to know ahead of time."

"Why?" Lilly tried, hoping she was wrong about what he meant by that.

"You are a detective, figure it out." He smiled, reaching Miller's car and getting in with just a little bit of help.

"Night Boss. Night Miller, thanks for chofering our old man."

"Night Lil." She heard both say.

The cold air of the night was barely registering in Lilly's mind as she thought about what Stillman's words implicated; she could never, he had to be joking! An option to be considered? Sure? The one that was selected? Never.

"Everything ok Lil?" Scotty's voice startled her.

"Yeah, boss is just getting old and mellow." She dismissed, turning around to face him.

"I'm taking my parents home and Mike and Allie are leaving with the boys soon, you need anything?" True to his word she saw his parents' waving goodbye at her from the inside of Scotty's car.

"No I'm good. Thanks." Scotty opened his arms and walked over to her.

"C'mere." She almost rushed into his hug, his arms wrapping around her back, her head tucked under his chin.

"You did it. She's a great kid." He said, smiling against her scalp.

"I couldn't have done it without you." She broke their hug, wiping a tear she hadn't even realized was running down her cheek.

"I'm just a villager." He joked, his hand on her shoulder.

"Goodnight Valens."

"Night Rush. I'll see you Monday okay?" He moved to his car and left, Lilly a little bit calmer and capable of moving her legs into her house.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

An hour and a half later when everything had been cleaned up, Christina and Lilly were getting ready for bed, Christina taking up the usually empty spot in Lilly's bed instead of the much less comfortable couch.

"That went over well." Christina said whilst getting into bed.

"Happy kids, no drama, and it's past midnight. We survived the first day with a teenager." Lilly said, placing Olivia on the bed between them.

"Do you have a case at the moment?" Christina asked.

"Thank God I don't! I got to concentrate just on this for the past couple days." Lilly pulled the covers to her chin and turned off her lamp, hoping Christina would pick up the cue and understand she was exhausted and just wanted to sleep.

"You did good."

"Hey you weren't so bad yourself, you met the Valens and didn't freak out."

"They are all very nice. And I'd never realized how cool Lindsey is, to me she'd always been your annoying friend from school!" Christina exclaimed.

"That is because you were an annoying little twerp when you were Masie's age." And still occasionally, much like in that moment.

"I had the chilliest talk with her and Allie. I was this close to asking them if they wanted to go out for drinks sometime."

"You ask they may very well say yes…" Lilly said, almost half asleep.

"Speaking of Valens, you and Scotty, something going on?" Christina grinned, her sister turning to face her, suddenly wide awake.

"This again?!" She turned back to her side of the bed hoping that would be the end of that topic.

"Most people's partners don't teach them to cook one on one. Or play dance dance revolution with their kids."

"Scotty is not most partners."

"A-ha!"

Lilly turned to face her again. "What I meant was that what we have is special." Lilly said, instantly realizing how it could be misinterpreted.

"You are burying yourself!"

"We have been through a lot ok? I have my demons, he has his sometimes we help each other with them." Lilly replied, hoping the topic would finally come to an end.

"By doing…" _Dammit_ she thought.

"We talk."

"Just that?" _Dammit!_

"Maybe over drinks." She added.

"Where?"

"Usually my couch but we've done that on his roof too."

"You are so lame!" Cristina whined.

"Goodnight." Lilly turned back to her original side, deciding to ignore her sister until she tired herself out.

"He totally likes you."

"Does not."

"Does too."

"Are we 13 too now?" She said exasperated, hearing no further comments for a solid 20 seconds.

"Goodnight Chris."

"Night Lil." Christina responded, preparing herself for sleep, but first deciding to tease Lilly one final time.

"Stop making kissy face noises dammit!" Lilly yelled, awoken from light slumber and wondering why she'd ever let her sister sleep in her room.

**Hope you liked it, will try to update as much as a can with the limited free time I have.**


	2. November

November 23rd 2022

The team was once again in the middle of a case, a college freshman who had been found in the Schuylkill river in November 2016. She had died by smashing her skull on some rocks and finding no defensive wounds the death had been ruled a suicide… until a landlord was replacing the CCTV system of a building right before the bridge entrance and found footage of the girl limping, coughing profusely and fainting on the ground, a figure rushing in quickly and throwing her over the side. When the team had interviewed the mother she had claimed to hear her daughter yelling on the phone with a man shortly before her death but wasn't sure it had been a boyfriend. Miller had also found several tickets to New York stashed in the girl's room. Earlier that day the younger sister had blabbed about them finding out they had a half-brother from their father not even their mother knew about and that he'd been living in New York under a new identity since having some trouble with gangs. With the address slipped to them in the back of a sugar packet that gave Lilly and Scotty the task to find the half-brother, their road trip coinciding with the day Christina was to arrive for Thanksgiving. With a knot in her stomach and Masie begging her to not make such a fuss over leaving her with Christina overnight, Lilly packed her bag, if only because she knew the end of her road trip days with Scotty could be closer than she'd have thought only a couple weeks prior.

"The brother disappeared without a trace in 98' just like the sister said." Lilly said, hanging up a call from Vera.

"Has her alibi checked out yet?" Scotty asked, his eyes not leaving the road.

"Not yet, she was a sixteen year old party queen, every witness she indicated remembers seeing her at several parties but can't be sure they saw her at the one that weekend."

"So it can still be her."

"You really are convinced it was her aren't you?"

"If it wasn't her she knows a lot more than she's letting on."

"I might be more on board with you now after Vera told me who lives in the address we are going to."

"Don't leave me hanging Lil."

"Stella Davies, 95 years old. Her daughter confirmed to Vera that they have a live-in caretaker named Arthur and he's been with them for 20 years. Family thinks he's an angel, have not a single complaint." Lilly scribbled the details in her notes as she was saying them.

"Did they know about the half-sister looking for him?"

"She stayed over at Stella's house more than once. They said she seemed lost and had showed up with bruises more than once."

"The mother didn't mention those."

"You see where this is going right?"

"To a lovely tea with a nurse and a grandma and us going back to Philly empty handed."

"And the perp is going to be there waiting for us. And this Arthur might have some clues for us, she had to be talking to him about something."

"I missed these road trips with you." Scotty confessed, looking at her from the corner of his eye briefly.

"Aww you getting soft?" She teased him.

"Like you don't like me at all!"

"This may very well be our last road trip together; with Boss and Jeffries retiring we'll get some new blood and then it will be the kids' turn." Lilly's mood dampened, Stillman's words from the previous month replaying in her mind.

"And who shall be the new Boss?" Scotty grinned.

"Vera has the most years on the squad…" She tried, mostly trying to convince herself.

"Yeah right." He chuckled, having accepted the inevitable the moment Stillman told them he was retiring and had encouraged Lilly to take the Lieutenant's exam. His partner would be his boss soon and he honestly could not think of someone more capable of keeping him in line than her.

Amidst the thoughts of future Lieutenant Rush, Lilly's phone rang.

"Vera forget a detail again?" Scotty asked, only half joking.

"Nope, it's Masie."

"_Hey mom…" _The voice on the other line said.

"_Hey, everything ok?"_

"_Well most things but not all things…"_

"_Masie Elena Rush!_" Lilly raised her voice, immediately going into interrogation mode.

"_I might be on my way to the emergency room…"_

"_What?!"_ Overhearing the exchange Scotty moved over to the right lane, just in case he had to pull over to the side of the road soon.

"_I fell on my arm after school and the paramedics think it's broken, I'm fine, at worst it's a cast and x-ray." _

"_Who is with you?"_ Lilly interrogated, almost cutting off Masie.

"_My English teacher is staying with me until Christina gets here, I already called her, and she's leaving the clinic a little earlier and shouldn't take more than an hour."_

"_I'm coming too."_ She motioned to Scotty to turn the car around and he instead pulled over knowing there was still a fight to be had over the phone before a final decision could be reached.

"_No you're not!"_

"_You are hurt and more important!"_

"_It's nothing, please don't comeback it's only for the night!"_

"_But…"_

"_I'm a big girl mom and I'm not even alone, I'll be here tomorrow."_

"_That broken arm isn't convincing me much…"_

"_Just do your thing ok? For me?"_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Yes!"_

"_Ok. I'll be back as soon as I can, I love you."_

"_Love you too."_ Masie told her before hanging up.

"Do you want to go back?" Scotty asked.

"Just speed until new York so we can get back as soon as possible." Lilly closed her eyes, beginning to count the hours until she could be back home.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Christina followed a nurse into an exam room, finding Masie clutching her arm.

"How are you doing sweetie?"

"I broke it but they say it was a clean break and they can set it without surgery." Masie hissed at the end of the sentence, taking a deep breath.

"I meant how are you feeling…" Christina responded, guessing what the answer would be.

"Horrible but don't tell mom I said that." Massie gritted her teeth at the end of the sentence.

Feeling both terrible over her child's pain and amused at just how much like Lilly she sounded, Christina hadn't even noticed a man in a tweed jacket sitting in a chair next to the door.

"OH! Um… hello?"

"Ms. Rush I'm Collin Devlin, Masie's English teacher." The man got up from the chair and shook her hand. "Because the incident happened on school property it is policy to accompany the student until the next of kin can arrive." He added before Christina could even ask why an extremely attractive man was in the room.

"Thank you, I'm Christina Rush Masie's-"

"Birth mother?" Collin finished her sentence.

"How?" She jumped, not knowing why the extremely attractive man with no wedding ring knew her blood relation to Masie, a detail she never knew how to bring up.

"She told me it was you coming." He looked at Masie, not getting why Christina still looked so confused.

"Mr. Devlin read an essay I wrote at the beginning of the school year about my feelings on this matter and asked if I'd like to visit the guidance counselor. Nobody but them knows about it at school." She explained.

"Oh." Christina said, thinking it made sense Masie had sought some help dealing with her feelings and being glad she was receiving some sort of outside support at school. And wondering if always wore tweed jackets or if it was just for today.

"Well I must be on my way now, those tests aren't going to correct themselves. Pleasure meeting you Ms. Rush, you've got a very bright girl in your hands." He shook her hand again and moved towards the door.

"Thank you. It was nice to meet you too." She smiled without even realizing it.

"I'm also involved with the PTA, I'm the carrier pigeon between them and the principal. If you'd like to help out with any school activity feel free to give me a call." Colin poked his head back in the room just before the door could close and slipped a business card in Christina's hand.

"You met him for two minutes and got his number, nice." Masie joked, karma coming in the form of another hiss.

"And awkward." Christina took the now empty chair, looking at her watch and wondering why the hell it was taking them so much time to set a frature.

"I'm joking to try to forget this thing I have going on with my arm."

"Yeah how did this happen?" She asked.

"I was playing in recess while killing time for the bus and tripped. I heard a terrible snap. Avery went to get help, Gabe just stood there panicked."

"Well next time be careful, I didn't make that arm for you to break it all willy-nilly." The remark came out of Christina quicker than she could really think about it, the whole "I'm your mother" thing still a bit touchy between them.

Masie didn't react to it, distracted by her right arm.

"Didn't they give you something for the pain?"

"Tried to, I wouldn't take it." Masie replied, a hint of regret in her eyes.

"Lil didn't want it until losing consciousness too, your apple fell right on the tree's roots." Christina joked just as the orthopedic doctor came in the room with all the materials for the cast.

"What do you mean too? When was she hurt?" Masie asked.

"Huh-" Christina realized the crucial error she'd made and instead moved the conversation to which color of cast would be nicer.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Well that trip to the NYPD was-" Scotty said.

"Close to no help, guy is a saint." Lilly finished, playing with a fry half-heartedly.

They were sitting in a diner the detective from NYPD they'd met with before recommended. They'd spoken with him about their suspect Arthur learning that he had been associated with a gang around 1999 but had left quietly and hadn't been on their radar since, so much so they'd assumed he'd died. They left the precinct at almost 9 PM and decided to get some food before checking in at the hotel, Scotty ordering a cheeseburger for himself and some fries with a soup for Lilly while she was outside talking to Christina. She'd come back in 5 minutes prior and had yet to eat a single thing, settling for playing with the fries.

"I really don't get the fuss over this cheeseburger." Scotty complained, disappointed at how much the Carisi guy from the NYPD had built up the burgers at that diner when compared to what he was currently eating.

"Then don't eat it." She deadpanned.

"I'm starved I'd eat anything."

"If you get sick you better be quiet about it, I have to put up with you until Philadelphia." She shoved half a spoonful of soup in her mouth.

"When you are boss you'll make sure we can afford more than one room per trip." Scotty was preparing to tell her Benny had made a mistake when booking the room but leaving out the part where he booked them only one room because he had been convinced since starting cold case in august that they were a couple. At least he booked them a room with twin beds, mainly because it was cheaper for the precinct. When Lilly didn't so much as react he figured out she didn't hear a thing.

"Lil?"

"I'm sorry I didn't hear you." She said, staring at the fries.

"What did they say?" He asked, hoping that talking about it would make her feel better.

"Clean break, she's got a pink cast on until early january, is refusing pain relief and they are getting something to eat on the way home. Christina seems to be handling it fine." She said, leaning back into their booth and crossing her arms over her chest.

"See? No reason to worry."

"I miss her Scotty." Her voice cracked.

"You'll see her tomorrow." Scotty reached across the booth and squeezed her hand.

"She's waiting for me to sign the cast." She added, squeezing his hand back before letting go.

"She's a sweet kid." He replied.

"Can we hurry that interview up tomorrow?" She almost begged.

"Sure, then I'll put my lead foot to good use."

"Thanks." She cracked the tiniest, most subtle smile, earning one from him in return.

"Now eat!" Scotty ordered. "I'm not going back to Philly with you in only two dimensions."

"Fine." She responded by stealing a bite off his burger and pushing the cold fries his way.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You sure you don't want literally anything else for dinner?" Christina asked.

"Are you going to deny a sick kid ice cream?" Masie replied, flipping through a booklet of sundaes.

"No but I might want to get her to eat something besides it."

"I'll get a waffle then. 3 scoops on top please." She handed the waiter the menu and leaned back in her chair smugly.

"You are terrible to negotiate with you know that?"

"I've always wanted ice cream for dinner, I saw a chance, I took it." She shrugged.

"You need any help eating with that broken arm?"

"Nah it's fine."

"Are you ambidextrous?"

"Nope, lefty." Masie replied, wiggling the fingers on her left hand.

"I never knew that." Christina realized, her voice unintentionally cracking towards the end.

"Well, mom won't be home till tomorrow and I plan on eating more ice cream than the one I just ordered so this is your chance. Ask stuff about me all you want." She grinned, having picked up on the voice crack.

"Ok let's see… that red backpack you have, did you pick it out? I noticed you were wearing it in first grade too on your birthday video, you've had it for a long time it seems."

"It was a gift from Uncle Finn."

"Finn?" Christina had maybe seen him a total of 2 or 3 times? She knew her daughter had been around their extended family from Lilly but for some reason the idea of the little brother she didn't know she had for most of his life being close enough to gift her child something was stranger than Scotty Valens – babysitter extraordinaire.

"After graduation he worked in Japan for two years. Those backpacks are traditional for elementary school kids and he was visiting us right before my starting school. He saw it at the airport and thought it would be a fitting gift."

"Did it come with the cat?" She asked, remembering the childish plushie hanging from the side of the backpack.

"The cat? Oh you mean Símon! Nah, I've had him since I was a baby, mom sewed a keychain right to it so I could hang it from the backpack. You know, it case I needed a comfort thing in first grade."

"That's sweet."

"The backpack is tough as nails and I plan on using it for as long as it lasts."

"So you are also thrifty."

"In some things." Masie shrugged as a giant banana split was placed next to her waffle, the waiter looking dumbfounded.

"What was the deal with that Peyton girl?" Christina asked, the curiosity from the previous month resurfacing.

"She's a jerk but nothing I didn't already know." Masie said, punctuating the sentence with a spoonful of caramel ice cream.

"What did she do?"

"She went around school spreading the rumor that I have hairy boobs." She rolled her eyes.

"That bit-"

"It's ok, it didn't catch on as well as she'd hoped." Masie cut her off, catching the waiter giving them a side eye.

"Why?"

"I don't have boobs to have hair on." She half-joked half-pouted, gesturing to her chest.

"What did you do?"

"Helped Gabe make slime and I hid it in her gym shoes while she was in the shower." She answered, stabbing through two scoops of ice cream and hitting the bowl.

"Don't you think she'll figure it out that it was you?" Christina asked, in her depth with the topic of mean girls.

"Nah, I covered my tracks." She replied, licking the underside of the spoon to rid it of some chocolate sauce.

"You are terrifying." Christina joked.

"Her best friend is the schools number one slime dealer."

"So you turned them against each other?"

"They both like the same boy and are possessive, time will turn them on each other on its own." Masie shrugged her shoulders.

"Fair enough."

"It was a shame Sam started hanging with them, she was actually cool." Masie set down her spoon and crossed her arms over her chest, almost muttering.

"New girl Sam?" Christina asked, spotting a look of disappointment she'd seen on Lilly's face multiple times.

"Yes." Masie replied, looking down at her cast.

"Sometimes people just try out different friend groups until they find one that clicks the best for them." Christina reached across the both and raised her daughter's chin, finding a slightly watery eye staring back at her.

"What were you like in high school?" Masie asked, her usually confidant voice suddenly sounding small and hurt.

"A less mean Peyton."

"So I would have hated you?"

"Probably."

"And mom?"

"Quite a bit like you actually. Biker boyfriend apart she was more like the basket case from The Breakfast Club."

"Where did she get the biker boyfriend?"

"Oh he lived nearby, started coming over when she was recovery from the attack and they eventually started dating when she was like 14. They were adorable in hindsight but at the time I just thought they were lame, whenever I'd spy on them I never caught them making out it was always deep talks about "not being like our parents" and "going off to see the world". This went on until graduation." Christina rolled her eyes jokingly.

"What attack?" Masie grinned, like the cat that got the canary

"Dammit!"

"What attack?" Masie repeated.

"You can never let her know you know." Christina hunched towards her, almost whispering as if Lilly could hear them.

"Fine."

"It's her story to tell not mine."

"Just the cliff notes version then."

"When she was 10 she was attacked by a man and broke her jaw. No more information than this." Christina summarized, leaning back into the booth and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Wow."

"Again no word of this to her."

"Did they ever catch the guy?"

"Yes."

"Was it Detective Stillman?" Masie asked, smirking.

"How-"

"He has let some stuff slip over the years too, I was just missing what the attack had been and when." Masie cut in.

"I may be nowhere near the detective you are…" Christina began.

"Obviously."

"But I think I get to ask you a serious question too."

"Fine, shoot."

"Why aren't you taking the pills they gave you?"

Masie looked down at her cast before stabbing yet another scoop of ice cream.

"I don't need them."

"You are not fooling me." Christina replied, catching two watery eyes behind the glasses.

"I just don't like to take meds." She insisted, setting the spoon down and scooting against the back of the booth, trying to recoil from Christina.

"You sure it's just that?"

"I don't want to hurt your feelings." She confessed, staring at the cast again.

"Why would you worry about that?"

Masie pondered her answer for a bit, while playing with the hem of her sweater.

"I'm afraid I'll get hooked on them."

Silence fell over them as Christina pondered the words and Masie tried to gather how badly her words had hurt.

"Why?"

"Because you told me my father became addicted to painkillers after an injury and I'm scared of that happening to me." She replied, unable to look Christina in the eye.

"Sweetie will you please look at me?" Masie looked up to see Christina sympathetically hunched towards her. "It is true that that is a risk and you have no idea how much calmer it makes me to know you are aware of that danger, but taking them under supervision and in the small dosage they gave you won't get you addicted."

"What if there are some left over and I feel like eating them like candy?"

"Your mother will take them away as soon as you don't need them anymore."

"Why not you?"

"I know my limits sweetheart."

"Oh-"

"Don't feel bad." Christina cut in. "You know that I have a disease and I'm doing everything in my power to prove to you that I've learned to control it."

"I guess I'm just worried about you and me…"

"You can leave the worrying to the adults for now ok?" Christina told her, panicking internally at the 3rd plate the waiter brought for Masie and the growing possibility for a sugar rush.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lilly hung up the facetime call from Masie and sat on her bed, staring at the wall blankly.

"Lil?" Scotty tried.

"What?" She jumped.

"She's fine."

"I know."

"You won't believe it until you see her, won't you?"

"What do you want me to do then? Pretend my little girl isn't in pain?" She snapped.

Knowing tears might soon be on the horizon Scotty got up from his bed to go sit beside her in hers. "You talked to her via facetime, you saw the cast and she's not even going to spend the night at the hospital. You can do all the cuddling you want as soon as we go back." He placed a hand on her shoulder, the other turning her chin towards him.

"I just want to hold her."

"Of course you do, you are her mom."

"Can we get that interview done as soon as possible?" She asked, almost begging.

"We'll checkout first thing, we'll be at the house at nine and by ten at the most we'll be on our way to Philly." He smiled reassuringly.

"Promise?"

"I do if we get some sleep now."

"I'm sorry it's just I am feeling terrible about not being there, she hasn't seen the inside of a hospital without one of us being hurt."

"She's 13, she can handle a broken bone." He attempted.

"How do you know? Do you have any idea how much pain a fracture can be? How terrifying it is to see your own blood on the floor? Being alone and in so much pain you can't call for help? What kind of mother am I dammit?" She pushed his hand off her shoulder and covered her face with her hands, trying to hide the first tears that were coming.

Not remembering a breakdown similar to this one since Christina's overdose, Scotty threw both arms around her, pulling her to his chest and rubbing soothing circles over her back.

"Lil, calm down, she's ok now, breathe before you go into a panic attack." He begged, her head tucked bellow his chin.

Feeling her shiver and remembering that they couldn't get the heater to work he decided to lie down with her still glued to his chest, throwing his bed covers over the both of them. To his surprise Lilly had no reaction besides, if anything, adjusting herself into his embrace and holding on to his t-shirt as if she were holding on for dear life.

"Lil you might be projecting a bit." He started.

"Projecting what?"

"You know what."

"I've only ever told you I was attacked and had to receive medical help."

"Do you want to say something else about it? So I can help you see what happened to her is nowhere near the same."

"Only if you promise me you won' give me that pity look." She looked up from his chest, the Ice Queen glare unmoved by the impromptu cuddling she had barely registered.

"I'll do my best."

"My mother sent me out for vodka. Alone at night. I was 10." She began, her head back on Scotty's chest.

"And then what happened?"

"I was attacked by a man. He took my money and beat me up so bad I broke my jaw. That's all I'm ok telling you."

"That's ok, thank you for trusting me." He rubbed some more circles over her back, trying to annihilate the tension the past had brought her.

"With my deep dark secret?"

"You not being there for her now doesn't make you your mother."

"I sure feel like her, her vice was vodka mine is work." She muttered.

"But yours doesn't make you send your girl grocery shopping alone at night."

"I still feel like crap." She buried her face into his chest, trying to shut out the anger.

"She broke her arm in the playground. Lots of kids with great parents do that, she happened to be one. And you left her with someone capable of handling the situation for less than 24 hours. You are no Mrs. Brady but you ain't half bad, ok?"

"Ok." She conceded.

"Do you think Christina can handle it?" She asked.

"A broken arm? Well she's not the one doing the fixing so…"

"I meant a hurt kid alone."

"With the pain meds she's probably going to be knocked out until we get home, it doesn't seem too bad."

"I know it's just I had planned to let her have Masie alone eventually but this trip came up last minute and Christina was coming anyway so it sort of happened."

"You think it's too soon?"

Lilly moved from his chest to his side, propping herself up on her elbow to be face to face with him.

"Scotty she didn't know her three months ago."

"Maybe it will be good for her. She'll see that Chris really is here for her too and that she can trust her…"

"You really think so?"

"I promise you."

"Thanks Scotty." She smiled slightly, making his heart temporarily stop in the process.

"If anything I'm worried about Gabe, I called him to get just what happened straight and his voice was shaking." He added.

"You think telling me that was a good move Valens?" She glared at him.

"Never mind it, he was just scared. He saw the fall and she really did land on her arm, everything else is fine." He tried.

"You better not be lying…"

"He said she was cracking jokes while the paramedics were coming."

"She was?" She asked, settling into half of Scotty's pillow and feeling the dread from the day finally starting to lose to her exhaustion.

"And telling him to not be such a weenie and to stop crying." He continued.

"She's tough isn't she?"

"Just like her mom… pretty too."

"You trying to charm me?" She deadpanned, almost taken by sleep.

"Always. Goodnight Lil." He said before turning off the bedside lamp and hearing a soft snore come out of his partner.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How are you feeling?" Christina asked as she entered Lilly's living room.

"Todo, todo, todo! Es tuyo si querés! Con una sonrisa, mirá que fácil es!" Masie happily sung, lying on the couch with two cats partially on top of her, unmoved by the off-key singing in a way only felines can.

"Ok…" Christina touched her child's forehead to make sure she wasn't having a fever dream. Then she touched her own.

"It's the feel better song!" Masie explained.

"If you say so…"

"Pronto se contagia se hace carcajada! HAHAHAHAHA, y ya no me duele nada!" She continued.

"Is that Spanish?"

"It's from Chiquititas!"

"The what? You took only one pill right?"

"It's an Argentinian telenovela for kids about orphans. And yes just one." She answered holding up a thumb.

"You watched it?"

"Gabe's mom is half Argentinian, she wanted us to practice our Spanish with the songs…"

"So there's more than one, great…" Christina muttered under her breath.

"They had some really depressing ones about kids being sad over not having parents, stuff like 'No me digas mentiritas porque duele, Yo ya sé que estoy solita, no me quieren! Mis papás se fueron lejos, se olvidaron que naci Me dejaron sin caricias como a tiiiiiiii!'" She sung before panicking at the lyrical content.

"Oh I wasn't sad like them! And I've found you and we are working on this! My heart no longer has agujeritos! Besides valves I mean."

"That's nice to know kid." Christina replied, having understood nothing but knowing better than to fight someone on pain relief.

"I'm sleepy."

"Then sleep." Christina threw a blanket over Masie, tucking her in for the first time in years.

"Can I sing one last song?"

"Sure…" Christina said, as she moved to the kitchen with some echoes of "_Había una vez…"_

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Lilly rush awoke the following morning she was met by a soft thud and a rising and falling pillow.

And a very tight blanket around her.

"_Oh God it's a man Who Where How?" _She thought, panicked.

"_Phew it's just Scotty…"_

"_SCOTTY!" _She nearly jumped of his chest, retreating as far from him as she could without falling of the bed.

"_This is way past the line, partners should not cuddle!"_

"_He looks almost like a little boy asleep though, why is he smiling? Is he dreaming about cars or something?" _

"_What does he do to those arms? It felt like a chokehold around me-"_

"Lil?" Scotty groggily asked.

"No, it's the other blonde you slept with last night." She replied.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked rubbing his eyes.  
"I did, I think I'm a little better after some rest…" She said, her eyes taking in the pillow creases on his cheek.

"Good. I slept very well." He stretched his arms over his head, a few cracking noises not going unnoticed.

"Now let's get out of bed, do our job and bring you back to your baby girl." He got up with his back to her and removed his shirt, still not fully awake and capable of processing the other occupant in the room.

"Hum I'll change in the-" Lilly cleared her throat when she realized his hands had moved to his sides and his pajama bottoms would be discarded next.

"Yeah go right ahead!" He removed his hands from his hips and started pulling his clothes from his carry on next to the bed.

"Thanks." She replied, gathering her things and beginning to move towards the bathroom with her eyes still stuck to his back.

Her examination of his shoulder blades was interrupted by his turning around, with a very visible scar on his chest.

"Hey Valens."

"Yeah?" He asked, slipping a wife beater over his chest.

"It's nice to have you still with us." She smiled before disappearing behind the bathroom door.

"If you're this nice after cuddling imagine what you are like in a proper morning after-"He joked before the door opened again and he was struck in the eye with a ball of worn sleepwear.

"Fold those for me before I kick your ass."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How are you feeling?" Christina asked, peeking into the living room.

"Why am I on the couch?" Masie asked while rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"You fell asleep while singing something about the number 24, my Spanish is too basic to have gotten anything else from it."

"Oh yeah…How are things in New York?"

"They are on their way, Lil just called saying they think they have enough to put the doer away."

"Was it the brother?" She asked, sitting up and retrieving the TV remote from the coffee table.

"No, apparently he turned the whole case around."

"Have you had breakfast yet?" Masie asked, noticing it was past 10AM due to the cartoons currently airing.

"Not really, I usually skip it and eat something a little later."

"Do you want to share froot loops with me?"

"I'll go make some bowls, you find some cartoons you think are funny."

"Milk or cereal first?" Masie shouted towards the kitchen.

"Cereal, if I put the milk first the cereal is going to float on top of it." Christina peaked her head back into the living room, disappearing just as quickly as she had appeared.

"You have a point in your favor against Uncle Scotty then." Masie smirked, settling on reruns of Steven Universe.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Vera says they have Mrs. Formann in custody and are putting her in the box now."

"Do you think she'll confess?" Scotty asked, not moving his eyes from the road.

"To which murder?"

"If all else fails Christy is willingly to testify against her mother so the very least she's not walking out of this without child abuse charges."

"Wouldn't have pegged you for a cuddler…" Lilly began.

"Once upon a time that was all girls would let me do."

"Elissa?"

"Yes. She didn't want to go all the way until senior prom so whenever we went parking it was an alternation of making out and cuddling."

"That's sweet."

"You had and adorably saccharine relationship with the bike guy too?" He asked smirking.

"We were saccharine in our own way. There was a lot of talking about our neglectful families and how one day we'd be nothing like them. Ray knew all there was to know about me once…"

"You were nothing like your mother. Even Chris manage to not be like her, it just took her longer."

"I could have been just like her. I nearly married ray at 19…" Lilly said, wistfully staring out the window.

Suddenly several puzzle pieces that he'd been fed came together in Scotty's mind and he nearly went off the road. "Tenessee? You were 19? What?"

"I was much different then, the dealbreaker with him was him not being able to accept how much I changed fully. Haven't seen him since the joseph mess… I'm glad I knew him but I can't really say I miss him. Same goes for Joseph too."

"Two guys that don't know what they lost…" Scotty joked.

"Stop charming your way into a raise and watch the road Valens."

"Yes boss." He smirked, catching her rolling her eyes in his peripheral vision.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Are you ok?" Lilly asked as she launched herself at the couch, rushing past Christina and leaving Scotty at the door.

"Yes moooom." Masie rolled her eyes while simultaneously being enveloped into a tight hug.

"Are you in pain? Do you need anything? Candy? Milkshake? How did you do this? Did one of the mean girls trip you?" Lilly fired the questions as she pulled away from their hug.

"Mom relax, it's just a broken arm, there's someone with one of these every year."

"Excuse me for caring!" Lilly threw her arms up.

"I don't need anything, the pain meds are making me drowsy and I just want to take a nap."

"Ok, rest is good." Lilly got up from the couch and began pacing back and forth.

"Can we not get in a car to go to Grandpa's? It's a long drive and I really don't feel like going. We can celebrate here, just the three of us? Order some pizza?" Masie proposed.

"Why not Chinese?" Lilly asked.

"You know that's for Christmas!" Masie replied, somewhat shocked her mother would ask such an obvious question.

"Fine I'm ordering your favorite and I think we have some ice cream left in the fridge." Christina cringed at the thought of that girl ingesting any more ice cream and followed Lilly into the kitchen, leaving Scotty forgotten in the living room.

"Hey kid, you ok?" He asked, throwing a glove at her.

"Yes, really." She smiled as she caught the glove and threw it right back at him.

"How did you do this?" He asked gesturing to her cast.

"Promise me you won't tell her." She whispered.

"Pinky swear!" He kneeled by the sofa and extended his hand towards her.

She laced her pinky through his before looking down at the cast and whispering. "Avery was teaching me how to death drop."

"Death drop?"

"It's when you fall backwards on the ground in a struck pose." She explained.

"Why?"

"It just looks so cool and she made it seem so easy!" She cried.

"So a stupid bit of fun that went wrong?"

"Yes…"

"Someday I'll tell you how I nearly lost my pinky toe. Bye!" He grinned as he walked into the kitchen to say the rest of his farewells.

"How can you leave me with that cliffhanger?!"  
"You need rest." He replied.

"Damn you Valens!" She yelled.

"Language!" Lilly yelled back.

**AN: This chapter kept getting longer and longer and I have a terrible habit of skipping between chapters once I know where I want to go. I'm on my summer break from University so I hope December will be posted before I go back to school. I'm also an idiot that decided to begin a Big Bang Theory fic while on a mental breakdown during finals so I'll have to juggle two ongoing fics (which I haven't done in 7 years, successfully never). Thanks for reading!**


	3. December

**I tried to make this shorter. Then I noticed the dialogue alone was over 4000 words long and I really didn't want to break chapters off into two or three parts. Also I kept referring to Celeste by the wrong name while writing (Susan because the same actress was playing basically the same character on Grey's Anatomy or Cheryl because I forget the name Celeste exists). I'll try to have January up before returning to University. Enjoy.**

"Mase! Where is Tony?" Lilly shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

"My bed!" Masie replied not moving her eyes from her copy of Flowers in the Attic.

"Come help me carry the litter box up there!"

Masie rolled her eyes and jammed a discarded clothing tag in her book to mark the page. She then proceeded to put on her slippers by kicking her feet into them and awakening the sleeping feline on her bed with the commotion.

"I'm sorry we have to keep you guys in here all night Tony." She gave him a rub behind the ear before darting down the stairs to carry half the weight of a litter box with only one hand AND her back to the steps without so much as "almost" tripping.

"Thanks, can you take the food and water dishes too? I want to finish pretending I cleaned the kitchen." Lilly asked as she started her away back downstairs.

"Ok…" Masie rolled her eyes and followed her mother to the kitchen.

"Fill the dishes up a little more in case they get hungry!"

"I know how to take care of the cats mom!" Masie huffed.

"Don't forget to lock Olivia in your room!"

"Already?"

"Christina is 10 minutes away with them and you know Celeste is allergic to the cats."

"Fineeeee. Come on Liv, to your prison we go." Masie called and the arthritic cat slowly began to move from her cat bed.

"It's one meal without the cats rubbing up against your leg."

"And that meal is Christmas Eve…" Masie muttered as Olivia followed her out of the kitchen.

"Which we usually spend with the Valens so it's not like the cats are expecting much from the holiday." She heard Lilly say after her.

"I always made you two a card…" Masie huffed to a loud meow from the cat.

"I should change out of my pajama pants into some jeans the very least." She added as she set the food and water bowl down in a corner of her room and shut the door after Olivia. The eldest cat wandered over to the half open closet and started meowing in front of a cream dress her owner had worn to Christmas dinner at the Valens' the previous two years.

"Not this year Liv, that dress is starting to get too small for me." Masie pulled a pair of jeans from the closet and shut the door before either cat could get the idea to try to climb inside.

"Meow!" Olivia protested.

"I know I look cute in it."

"Meow." Masie placed Olivia on the bed next to Anthony and began to change from her pajamas to the jeans and sweater that was still over the back of the desk chair from the previous day.

"This is what our life looks like now I guess." She stared at herself in the mirror, dismayed at looking not much different from the previous year but with a massive downgrade in outfit, bulky cast under it and all. Before peak moodiness could be achieved her phone vibrated and she unlocked it to find a picture of Gabe sticking his tongue out over a plate of Abuela's cookies.

"SON OF A BIT-"

"MASE!" Lilly called again.

"I'm coming!" She jammed the phone into her back pocket and went over to the window to see Christina and her "grandparents" exit a car.

"Wish me luck guys." She fixed her slightly lopsided glasses in the mirror and closed the door after her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Thank you so much for cooking Celeste you really didn't have to."

"Please it's nothing, there's only 5 of us to feed and you said you had desert covered."

"Ice cream… which goes great with Abuela's cookies… that Gabe is eating without me… and he and Em don't even like them all that much…" Masie sulked in her chair, Christina and Paul sitting on her right.

"10 minutes in your oven and we can start putting some food on these plates." Celeste said, retrieving everyone's plates into a neat stack on the kitchen counter.

"So Masie remind me in what grade you are in now?" Paul asked.

"8th." Christina and Masie replied.

"How's that treating you?" Paul asked before Masie could say "Jinx".

"Girls being passive aggressive to me, boys doing stupid things to win bets, being force fed an Euro-centric view of World History… you know the usual…" She answered while examining the only handful of signatures on the visible part of her cast.

"She still talks like an old soul I see." Paul joked.

"Too bad I still look 10." She muttered.

"Don't say that sweetie you are developing at a perfectly normal pace." Celeste said.

"You might want to change that topic before Grandpa squirms…"

"I already raised a girl through adolescence kid, nothing I haven't heard before." Paul spoke before an awkward silence briefly fell upon the room.

"Hey dad did you hear about Lil's upcoming promotion? She aced the Lieutenant's exam." Christina changed the subject.

"Congratulations!"

"It's not official yet." Lilly Ice-Queen stared at Christina.

"But Boss is leaving mid-January and you are the only Lieutenant in the squad." Masie added, promptly receiving the same stare.

"He can suggest someone else…" Lilly began.

"Which is why he had two Sergeants in the squad but only recommended one for the exam." Masie beamed with a smile so dopey she could have been a Valens.

"I'm very proud of you." Paul said.

"Thanks dad."

"_Is that what I sound like? Is that how she sounds like when she talks to me?" _Masie thought.

"Places people! I hope you are hungry!" Cheryl sang while opening the oven.

"_Right now not very much…"_

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"And we released him last week to his family. The longest we've ever had anyone stay at the clinic since I've been there."

"So if he had a problem with hard drugs would it be considered relapsing if he smoked a joint?" Masie asked while playing with some peas.

"You seem very invested in this topic young lady!" Paul Cooper said, raising a brow at her.

"Oh Paul you know how kids are! Her curiosity is nothing out of the usual!" Celeste waved him off, setting her napkin on the table and beginning to stack everyone's plates.

"She did remind me a little bit of Finn as a teenager just now." Paul mused.

"How is he?" Masie's eyes lit up at the mention of her favorite actually blood-related uncle.

"He is doing great! Marcie is getting close to the due date so they couldn't fly for the Holidays but they have everything ready to go." Paul replied.

"He asked about you the other day, says he can't wait to introduce his little girl to her cousin." Celeste added smiling.

"HE IS HAVING A GIRL?" Masie all but screamed, her jaw reaching a height it hadn't been at since she was 8.

"You didn't know?" Paul asked right before being lightly slapped on the shoulder by his wife.

"It must have slipped his mind to tell you." Lilly said.

"They are naming her Franny." Celeste beamed.

"Doesn't Maggie already have a Zooey?" Christina asked.

"And a Holden." Lilly added.

"You two should look into changing my name so I'm not the only grandchild left out of the Salinger related names." Masie half-joked.

"I'm afraid those 3 are the only ones in that category I know off the top of my head." Christina shrugged.

The doorbell rang just then and Lilly quickly excused herself to answer it, briefly leaving her slightly upset daughter alone with their relatives.

"A name can only mean so much, let's not dwell on it too long." Paul began.

"It can shape a lot of how others perceive you and how you see yourself and the world Grandpa. If you meet someone with the same name as someone you don't like there may be a little flicker of disdain in the back of your mind before they even open their mouth."

"I'm yet to meet a Masie I don't like then." He smiled.

"What about an Elena?" Masie joked.

"Who is Elena?" Paul asked, his brow furrowing.

"You are kidding right?" Masie's face fell and she leaned as far back as she could in her chair. Christina's eyes bulged out of her head and Celeste rubbed her temples in frustration.

"You don't know in which grade I'm in, don't know my middle name, what sort of things I like or anything about me! I haven't seen Finn since his wedding 3 years ago but at least he used to call! I hardly remember Maggie. My birth mother was a complete stranger until 3 months ago and even she knows more about me than you! At least she didn't wait until her kid was 40 years old to be in her life like you!"

"Masie Elena Rush!" Lilly scolded, rushing back into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry mom but I can't really process having a family evening like you said if my biological mother is a near-stranger, my mother is my aunt, my uncles are celebrating this holiday with the members of their families that matter more than me, my grandfather is someone I have spent less time with than your soon to be former boss and to top it all off I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO MY FATHER WAS AS A PERSON!" Masie almost jumped off her chair and began sprinting up the stairs.

"Mase-"Lilly tried to follow.

"At least you two knew who to look for and could get him back in your lives! Mine is dead somewhere and we are trying to assemble a family from what's left!" She screamed from the top of the landing before disappearing. Two seconds later the whole house heard her bedroom door slam.

Lilly hesitated going after her child but her recently arrived house guest mouthed a "Go" at her before moving to the kitchen. Lilly Rush began climbing the stairs slowly to give herself time to think of what she wanted to say and Scotty Valens and his Tupperware of cookies entered the kitchen cautiously.

"Hey everyone, good evening… I believe I met you a couple years ago, you too , I came by to drop off some desserts… my mother made extra… how about we try to catch up on some things while Lil goes to check on that kid?" He set the cookies on the counter and pulled up the chair recently occupied by his niece.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Mase can I come in?" Lilly asked, getting no answer.

"Sweetie please I'm not mad I just think we need to talk."

"Do you promise?" An unusual small sounding voice asked.

"I can't do a pinky swear with you unless you open this door."

The door opened just a crack and a small hand searched Lilly's. The door then opened further back and Masie turned her back to it, sitting on the corner of the bed and petting Olivia.

"You seem pretty upset at your grandfather." Lilly started, pulling up the desk chair and sitting on it facing the back of the chair.

"He did abandon you and Christina." A small sniffle followed.

"That was a long time ago."

"But it still hurts right?"

"A little bit."

"Enough that his daughter felt the need to repeat history?" Masie looked up at Lilly, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"She did a lot of things I wish my father had done so far."

"Like what?" Masie wiped her eyes on her sleeve and scooted further back on the bed.

"Well for starters, your grandma had a serious problem."

"You've warned me."

"But I kept just how bad it was from you…"

"Worse than abandonment? She didn't leave her children!" Masie snapped. Lilly cleared her throat.

"Sometimes I wish she had left us too…"

"Mom!" Masie stared at her, dumbfounded.

"Maybe we would have found a new adoptive family that would have been nice and given us all she couldn't."

"You'd live knowing she wanted nothing to do with you!" She cried.

"We did anyways Masie." Lilly took a deep breath and continued. "She'd forget to feed us because she was too drunk, or tired, or looking for a man. I was the one throwing a blanket over her when she blacked out, I was the one trying to feed my sister and me with whatever we had at the back of the cupboards. And at the end of the day I just wanted to feel like I was loved, have you ever felt you weren't?"

"No!" Masie shook her head violently. "I never doubted you loved me mom!"

"Me and Christina are what could have been your life if you had been with her while she was too deep into the addiction. I made myself into who I am today with fear I'd keep the neglect cycle going. Christina was sheltered by me as best as I could, she hardly ever complained or threw bottles away. She was the favorite. The older we got she just half expected me to clean up after her-"

"Like when she gave you her one and only child?" Masie began crying again.

"You got that wrong sweetheart. That was the first selfless decision she ever made." Lilly moved from the chair to sit next to her daughter on the bed.

"And then she left for years…"

"You have every right to be upset at that, but in my eyes that only shows how not ready she was to take care of you. What if she hadn't left but had fallen off the wagon when you were a little older? Like 4 or 5? Like Chris and I were in the thick of it?"

"You are right…" Lilly tentatively wrapped her arms around her only to feel squished by the strength of Masie's uninjured arm across her back.

"You know my father left me too." Lilly began, tucking her child's head under her chin.

"Yes."

"And then he built a whole new life without me in it."

"You must have felt like crap." She sniffled.

"He was right leaving. The person he was had no business with us. But when he finally sobered up he could have returned, gone to our graduations. But he never did. I tracked him down when I was pushing 40. That's more than 30 years without him Mase…"

"But Christina came back for me."

"She had the accident when you were 4 years old. I hadn't seen her since you were a baby, the hospital only called me because I was still listed as the emergency contact."

"Was she sorry? Had she regretted leaving yet?" Masie asked, her voice small and cracking.

"She asked "Is she asking for me?". I answered her very coldly and left, came home and had you sleep with me in my bed just so I could cuddle you closer and try to forget how close you'd been to our childhood. Two weeks later I got a call from her saying "I've checked into rehab, I'll call again once I'm done". She did all that alone."

"Did she call as she promised?"

"Three months later I got the call, she had finished inpatient rehab and was moving on to daily meetings while working odd jobs. She moved in with a friend she'd met at the clinic and started saving up to get her own place. She called me again when she got to a full year clean. I told her you had asked what had happened to the first mommy and I'd told you she had an illness and was getting help for it far away." Lilly began absentmindedly rubbing circles over her back making the sniffling decrease gradually.

"When was the next call?"

"After her first year at community college. I sent her a picture of you at our childhood beach. It was the first time she'd seen you since you were a baby, she called me in tears… I started to check in on her every three months, she was doing alright. For every time I called she got to know another little piece of you. After five years of part time community college she graduated and our calls became monthly. At that point you even showed curiosity in meeting her. That was when I finally forgave her."

"It took you nine years to do that?" Masie pulled away from the hug to look at her mother's face.

"Forgiveness is not for you to give but hers to earn. My dad has earned enough of mine to be downstairs right now but things with him didn't go the same way your relationship with Christina has. I know how to deal with this from the point of view of a 40 year old woman with 30 plus years of issues but that doesn't mean I know how to handle it from yours and there will be plenty of trial and error. We need you to say when you think something is going too far or when we are babying you unnecessarily. We want what is best for you but the great secret of all parents is that we are not always right about what that may be." Lilly wiped the last remaining tear from the corner of Masie's eye and she took the opportunity to begin wiping her glasses.

"To be fair not even I know what is right for me sometimes. And I live inside my head quite a bit."

Lilly smiled. "Anything else you want to share?"

"I feel bad about that quip about trying to make a family from what is left." She breathed in.

"Thought you would."

"I really love the life the two of us have. I loved going to the precinct as a little girl. I love the cats. I love picking on Uncle Nick. I love Uncle Scotty and all the fun things he does with us. I love our little traditions like going to the Chinese place on Christmas day-"

"And spending Christmas Eve with the Valens like we have done the past couple years." Lilly continued.

"Yes."

"I am to blame about that."

"What?"

"Well… it made sense to include Christina in our holidays, I had thought to invite her to come to the Chinese Restaurant with us tomorrow but that seemed like so much our little thing that I hesitated. Then Celeste called on Thanksgiving to ask if your arm was doing better and proposed coming over this year to make up for us missing the holiday because of your arm."

"That sounds like her."

"I never had a Christmas with more than 2 or 3 people related to me in one room and we hadn't spent Christmas with them since you were 3."

"I barely remember that." Masie had no memory of Christmas without Abuela and Abuelo, Uncle Scotty and Gabe and Em around. She could not even remember not getting Chinese food on Christmas Day.

"The reason we started spending it with the Valens' was the following year when Christmas was going to be at Maggie's in Florida and I had to work on the 24th and 26th. Scotty didn't want the two of us to be alone so we went over."

"I guess we have to lose some traditions to get new ones." Masie realized, knowing that after this year, no matter how disastrous, Christmas Eve at the Valens' could never feel exactly the same way it had years before.

"I should have asked you if you were ok with changing this first."

"And I should have spoken to you about my feelings. I'm not thrilled at the change but it didn't make too much sense to not spend the evening with the people downstairs… I guess when I told you I wanted to meet Christina I didn't think about all the implications… stuff like this just took me by surprise…"

"If you give them a chance they'll surprise you too…"

"I was a jerk wasn't I?" Masie laid her back down on the mattress in frustration, just barely missing Olivia.

"But you didn't do anything thing that's unforgivable."

"I have to go back out there don't I?" She covered her face with her arm.

"I'll go with you, come on." Lilly stood up and pulled her to her feet by the arm. They closed the door of the room to keep the cats in and started down the stairs.

"I don't think it would make much sense to punish you for having emotions but I think a sincere apology to your relatives should be in order." Lilly said as they neared the end of the stairs and by extension the kitchen.

"I'm on it."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I never should have contacted her…" Christina paced the kitchen.

"She seemed angrier at me than at you." Paul offered.

"It's my fault, it's too soon to have a gathering like this." Celeste rubbed her temples.

"She'll be ok… sometimes she just needs to let all that's eating at her out." Scotty interjected, stirring the coffee he'd just made for everyone.

"Don't we all?" Paul said.

"You're doing great." He told Christina as he handed her her cup.

"Great enough that she hates me?"

"She doesn't hate you she's just a little mad, I should know the feeling." Scotty gave her a pat on the shoulder before continuing to distribute coffee.

"What did you mess up?" Paul asked.

"The almost dying thing from last year." He waved off, realizing Paul and Celeste probably were not very in on the joke.

"Has she had an outburst like this one before?" Celeste questioned.

"This was more like 3 or 4 together."

"How was her outburst towards you?" Christina asked.

"When it happens I'll tell you." He replied taking a sip of coffee.

"So you're safe?" Christina wondered. He chuckled.

"I'm not safe at all, I'm just watching the waves until a tsunami hits."

"I wish I was so good with her…"

"You have to take your time with her, she's a great kid and eventually she'll come around all the way." He told her.

"She may come around but there was some truth to what she said." Paul cut in.

"Dad-"

"I sometimes neglect you two in favor of my other two children but-"

"I understand dad." Christina cut him in. "You raised them and know them far better than us, it is only naturally that the two of us are not going to be as close to you."

"But you are still my kids."

"The other day I was talking to this girl we have at the clinic, it's her 3rd stay. Halfway through I realized I know that girl better than my own daughter." Christina rubbed her eyes, in an effort to avoid crying.

"Chris-"Scotty reached for her shoulder again.

"No Scotty, I messed up with her in ways I will never be able to fix and I deserve to feel that pain."

"What I was going to say is that there are some things you can change if you want to help her through this. Most of the things she pointed out was not knowing people as much as it would be normal."

"There is so much I still want to tell her." She rubbed her eyes again. From where he was standing Scotty could see Masie approach them and moved to the corner of the kitchen.

"I don't see why you can't start tonight." He said right before his niece burst in and all but ran to Paul.

"I'm sorry for the scene I made." She began, voice still strained from crying.

"It's your right." Paul replied, waving the whole thing off.

"I don't hate you, I just projected a bunch of stuff you don't deserve… not anymore at least." She continued.

"It's ok, I should have heard that a long time ago." He nodded his head towards Lilly. "And some things had a grain of truth."

"Can we forget this?" She asked.

"I already have." Paul smiled at her and she turned to Christina behind her.

"I'm so so sorry!" She crashed into her arms.

"It's ok Masie." Christina ran her arm down her back repeatedly.

"Youarefamily, Ishouldn'thavesaidthattoyou, Ijustwasn'tthinkingabout allthatwouldchangeandItookit alloutonyouinsteadoftellingyouI neededmoretimetoadjusttothings…" She rambled until the need for air became too great.

"It's ok. Next time don't be afraid to tell us ok?" Masie nodded against her shoulder, noticing their visitor leaning against the counter behind Christina.

"Uncle Scotty?"  
"Hey kid." He smirked.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, glancing at the wall clock and being even more confused.

"Oh you know, I missed my favorite niece and Abuela made extra cookies she wanted you to have. Without you at that house we might even have leftovers of these." He pointed at the Tupperware and she threw herself at him, giving him a bone crushing hug.

"Thank you." She said, realizing Lilly's insistence in buying the ice cream she only ever eats with those cookies the previous day was a sign the whole thing was probably planned by the both of them.

"No problem, hey on the 26th you are invited to help us get rid of the leftovers ok?" He continued.

"I love you too." She buried her face in his shoulder.

"Aww kid you're making me blush." He tussled her hair, making her break the hug and give him her mini Ice Queen glare.

"Don't get so cocky." She muttered before assembling a cookie sandwich for herself in record time and eating just as quickly.

"Your mother wants you back by now probably." Lilly whispered in his ear.

"Ok I think I might have broken curfew… Merry Christmas everyone! Enjoy your evening!" He nodded goodbye before gathering his coat, scarf and gloves from the coat rack and Lilly offered to walk him to his car.

"Paul and I are going to clear the table for these cookies while you two have a little chat in the living room." Celeste cleared her throat nodding her head towards the living room.

"Celeste you don´t-"

"I think Celeste is right…" Masie cut Christina off nervously.

"Very well." Christina grabbed her cellphone off the table and guided Masie towards the couch.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I was beginning to wonder when she was going to snap… I feel kind of stupid for not realizing it would be today." Lilly let out a breath she didn't even know she'd been holding.

"I'd like to say I saw it coming too but I was just lucky with my mother's cookie plan." Scotty slipped his gloves on, noticing a thin layer of snow covering the sidewalk that hadn't been there an hour earlier.

"You always seem to be in the right place at the right time."

"It makes me a great partner I know." He grinned at her but got no response besides a blank face. "Lil?"

"I guess it would be ok if you were the first to know…" She breathed in as they began walking towards his car.

"Know what?" He asked, beginning to worry.

"I'm taking over for Boss."

"No kiddin'!" He pretended to be shocked before pulling her into a hug.

"It has only been official for two days, I was going to wait until Boss announced it the first week after the holidays."

"Hard to get your head around huh?" He asked, freeing her from the unusually long hug.

"Yesterday I was the first female homicide detective in Philly…" She stared at the sky, noticing some snowflakes beginning to fall again.

"And today you are the first female homicide lieutenant in Philly!" He playfully punched her side.

"Don't speak so loud!" She shushed, noticing they were near the living room window.

"So boss when can we talk about my raise?" He continued to joke, with a cockiness that reminded her of his first day in the squad.

"What makes you thing you deserve one?" She played along. He stood in front of her and began to talk while walking backwards.

"What more could you want from a partner? I'm always at the right place at the right time, I make sure you don't starve, you lose your gun I drive you to get it back as well as a baby, you slip I-" In that moment she tripped over his foot while trying to walk past his side. His reflexes kicked in and before she knew it her arms were around his neck and his face was right over hers, at a dangerous distance. She hadn't been so close to a man face since they had kis- and her lips caught his before any of them could process what or why it had happened. She broke the kiss and began to pull herself to her feet.

"I catch you. You fall I catch you. That is all." He slowly turned from her and began walking towards the car again, unable to process that Lilly Rush had just kissed him again and this time with no alcohol in her system. Or maybe she'd had some eggnog? She didn't taste lik- LILLY HAD KISSED HIM-

"Seems about right." She concluded and he could swear there was a blush on her cheeks… or maybe it was the cold?

"Good night." He said, pulling from his stupor with all his power and opening his car door.

"Drive safe."

"I'll try." He closed the door and started the car while Lilly stood on the sidewalk for a full five minutes trying to figure out just what had possessed her to do such a thing.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I'd like to apologize some more-" Masie began before being cut off by Christina.

"You could have been a Phoebe." She sat on the couch near the window and patted the cushion next to her.

"What?"

"That's her name right? Holden's little sister? I don't remember the book at all but I remember liking that name. But then the whole Pearl thing came to mind and it won by a pretty large margin." Masie smiled shyly and sat next to her.

"Your father liked Emma or Emily for a girl." She continued. "If you were a boy he wanted to name you after your grandfather."

"Paul?"

"Nope. Julian." Masie gasped at hearing the unfamiliar name.

"Is that his father?" She managed to croak out.

"Yes. His mother is an Anna." Masie stared at her not knowing how to react. "I don't know a lot about books but your grandmother does. She was an English teacher, she's retired now." She continued hoping to garner a reaction.

"You mean… she's still alive?" Masie gulped.

"She is."

"Does she know I-"

"Exist?" She cut in. "I told her all that when I had to make amends during rehab. It was also the first time we met. She didn't like me very much but she didn't want to cut contact because of you."

"And my grandfather?"

"He is sick. Alzheimer's. He has never been able to recognize me between visits."

"You visit often?" Masie asked, the novelty of having two 'new' living grandparents inhibiting her from processing the illness she theoretically could inherit.

"I went that first time, that didn't go well." Christina replied, temporarily grateful the Alzheimer bomb had seemingly gone over her head for the time being. "Anna called me six months later and we went to his grave. We cried for hours there. I went back two more times, the last one six months ago. She'd be willing to meet you if you were interested."

"I am." She replied first, thought it over after.

"If you are sure it's only a matter of a phone call. And a trip to Queens." Christina continued, trying to read her face to make sure she was even vaguely aware of what she had just said.

"It may be a lot to handle but I think what is hurting me the most in all this are the bits that I don't know. I want to try I guess. If it feels like too much I'll tell you and we can come home right away. And I think I'll ask mom to start seeing a shrink, I like our guidance counselor at school but I think I could benefit from professional accompaniment. "

"Deal." Christina agreed before being squished into a hug.

"Thank you for making the effort."

"You are welcome." Christina closed her eyes, enjoying what would most likely be the best gift she got that Christmas. "I have something else for you."

"What? Gifts already? It's still 20 minutes to midnight." Masie checked her phone for the time as Christina searched for something on hers.

"Well while we were waiting for you I realized you have never seen what your father looked like…"

"You have a picture?" She gulped.

"If you unlock the phone it's right on the screen." Christina set the phone down between them.

"Do you mind leaving me alone for this?"

"If you are sure." Christina once again searched her face.

"I think I am."

Christina took her hand before getting up from the couch. "I'll be in the kitchen. My code is 1-0-2-9."

Masie smiled to herself upon hearing the code and noticing it was her birthday. It was a sweet little gesture, if one that made her birth mother more prone to being hacked. She leaned back into a cushion and brushed her hair with her hand for a few seconds as if forgetting she was meeting an image and not a living person. Finally daring to enter the code she saw a blonde man with blue eyes. He was handsome and seemed young in the photo, he might be wearing a sport uniform of some sort? Maybe it was a picture from college he seemed too mature to be a high schooler. He had the same eyebrows as her, she hadn't even considered eyebrows as something that could be genetically passed on. Her nose and chin seemed more from the Rush side, the eyes and hair were shades so similar she couldn't really be sure whose they were. He looked like a regular guy she might pass on the street. But he was dad even if she never got to call him that…

"Well dad, nice to meet you. Merry Christmas." She brushed the screen with her thumb before locking the phone again and feeling the urge to look at a star. When Tripod had passed for a week she had picked a star in the sky and talked to it about her day, not really believing that the dead become stars that watch over us like Abuela had said once, but instead seeing no harm in acting like it or wanting it to be true. She turned her body towards the window and tugged a bit at the curtain to get a look at the sky instead noticing Uncle Scotty almost cradling mom. Mom's arms were around Uncle Scotty's neck and there seemed to be no space between their faces-

"OH MY GOD!" She yelped.

"Mase?" Christina poked her head back in the living room worried.

"IT'S NOTHING!" She screamed, closing the curtain hurriedly and flicking the TV on with her eyes still bulging out of her head.

"Are you sure?" Christina stared at her almost catatonic daughter until her breathing calmed and she relaxed a bit into the couch, finally forming words again.

"Yep, I think I just saw a shooting star and I never thought I'd see the day. "


	4. January

"Good morning Boss!" Scotty grinned as he pushed the office door open all the way.

"You want me to fire you Valens?" Lilly joked, pulling 3 folders from a cardboard box and slamming them on her new desk.

"Good morning Boss!" Vera entered the office, smirking behind a donut.

"Looks like your unit will be two cops short Lieutenant." Scotty continued to grin and plopped himself down in one of the chairs that faced the desk.

Lilly couldn't really be annoyed with them knowing all the teasing came from a place of love and the stress of her first day as boss taking up most of her brain. "Speaking of being short on cops has the new kid arrived yet?"

"Benny is making us coffee." Vera replied as he swallowed the last piece of his donut.

"Not that one, the new-new kid." Lilly smacked his arm with one of the folders jokingly.

"Thomas?" Scotty asked.

"That's the one."

"Haven't seen anyone new yet." Vera looked through the blinds, dismissing a random red head just coming from the elevators.

"She's here." Lilly stated as the red head looked around before making her way towards them.

"She?" Vera smirked.

"Come on Vera, you got me and Miller in this joint and one more girl is a novelty?" Lilly joked as she sat in her chair and began putting her hair up with a bobby pin.

"I'm from different times." He shrugged.

"Lieutenant Rush?" The young woman poked her head in.

"You must be Detective Thomas, welcome aboard." Lilly smiled and gestured her to come inside.

"Thanks Boss." Detective Thomas nodded her head in a way that reminded Lilly of the first time she was in that same office, still in a blue uniform.

"Let's loose the boss ok?" Lilly asked her kindly.

"As you wish Detective Rush."

Vera chuckled. "Oh you are the favorite child now Tommy girl!"

"Detective Vera we got a hit on our gun, it was also used in a 08' case. Would you please go fetch us the case file?" Lilly ordered waving him towards the door.

"Don't make her mad kid." Vera sighed and made his exit with Scotty getting up from his seat to follow him.

"Detective Valens could you stay please?" Lilly asked him, her voice tinged with uncharacteristic nervousness.

"Ok… Hi there kid, Scotty Valens." He held out his hand.

"Lacey Thomas." Their new recruit shook his hand politely and smiled.

"Detective Valens will be your partner for your first couple months here. I whipped him into shape for ya." Lilly declared, not missing a flash of hurt in Scotty's eyes.

"What?" He blurted.

"Don't mind his reaction, he has a thing for being surprised when he's partnered with women." She tried to joke.

"To be fair this time I didn't even knew I was getting a new partner…" Scotty sat back down on the chair, staring at Lilly dumbfounded.

"Surprise…" Lilly shrugged.

Amidst the awkwardness Thomas cleared her throat and changed the subject. "Where should I start?"

"Take up the desk next to Valens and wait for Vera to come back with that case file, we'll go over it as a team then."

"On it." Thomas retreated towards her new workspace leaving the two more experienced detectives alone.

"You are dissolving our partnership?" Scotty asked hurt.

"We had a good run. 19 years and a couple months."

"You could have warned me, I would have bought us lunch on our last case or something." He rubbed his temples.

"Don't get so sentimental Scotty, I have you with Thomas and Miller with Finch for now and by July/August I'll put the kids together and we old dogs can rotate partners."

"So you broke us off just so Benny and Thomas could have some decent mentorship?"

"Why else would I?" She blushed as flashes of their kiss from a couple weeks earlier flashed before her eyes. She needed to steer away from that image to maintain composure as soon as possible. "Are you trying to tell me you are sick of me?" She attempted to mock.

"You? I could never." He grinned at her making her heart flutter for a fraction of a second. Taking a deep breath he decided to believe her claim of dissolving their partnership was merely built on professional reasons and decided to take on the role she'd just given him.

"So where did you find Thomas? Fished her out of West? Continued the proud tradition this squad has of taking in strays from Narcotics?"

"Sex crimes." She retorted, almost chuckling as the realization dawned on him.

"You cherry picked her."

"She's good at catching rapists I think she can do the same for murderers."

"So she really is THAT Thomas? Their golden girl? The pride and joy of sex crimes?"

"Boss agreed with my decision before officially handing me the title." She leaned back in her chair, knowing Scotty Valens had been convinced.

"Alright I'll babysit her for a few months."

"Thanks."

"Should we take the kids for drinks today then?" He clapped his hands together as he stood from the chair.

"Christina is doing the grandparent thing today, I want to be with them when they get back." Lilly not so much informed as reminded him, the official confidant in anything Christina and or Masie related.

"Once we close the case?" He offered.

She smirked as she opened a folder. "Who says that won't be tonight?"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A woman in her late seventies opened the door with a guarded smile. That same smile dropped when she looked at Masie and went completely pale.

"You never told me how much she looks like Adam."

"You can't really tell how much from photos I think." Christina rubbed Masie's shoulder reassuringly.

"Well come on in, I'm sorry dearie I suppose you are Masie." The woman moved aside to let them in, eyes glued to the face of her granddaughter.

"Yes." She replied, shuffling her feet inside as a wave of familiar panic passed through her.

"Well, I'm at a loss for words here, I've lived through a lot of situations but never one like this." The woman nervously wrung her hands.

"I've had similar." Masie attempted to joke. "Are you my biological grandmother?"

The woman took a deep breath. "Yes." She extended her hand and a shy smile. "My name is Anna Sudayev and I am-" Her breath hitched. "-was… your father's mother." Christina offered the woman a handkerchief that she promptly waved way before beginning to lead them to a living room.

"Are you Russian too?"

"My mother was. My father was English. I was born here though. Eldest of three girls. The others were named Clara and Sylvia." The woman sat on a pink armchair while Christina and Masie took a seat on a green floral couch across from her.

"I'm an only child as far as I know. Born in Vermont." Masie replied. As another awkward silence fell upon them Masie noticed the sound of a piano coming from a nearby room.

"Is that music a recording?"

"Oh no dearie that's Julian playing from the living room." The Anna answered, realizing the teen across from her was the first new person since Christina to visit and could very well not even know her husband played piano almost constantly.

"Does he have…" Masie started to ask, uncomfortable at mentioning a near stranger's illness to his wife.

"Yes dear. I'm afraid he's not lucid today." Anna replied sadly.

"I play piano too."

"You do?" Anna lit up. "Classical?"

"Mostly classic rock. I love Billy Joel."

"Are you doing well in school?"

"I'm top of my class. My one true love is Math."

Anna chuckled and looked at Christina. "I remember when my Adam used to say that about chemistry! Said it until the day he told us he'd met you!"

Christina smiled sadly at the reminder of mushy Adam and opted to introduce a change in subject before either her or Anna could start crying. "Masie would you like to tell why you're here?"

"Well… I chose to reconnect with my mother a few months back and we are working on developing a healthy relationship. I however did not know the identity of my father or that his parents were still living and I wondered at Christmas what you'd be like. Just wanted to meet you and see for myself that you exist I guess." Masie shrugged

"That seems like a perfectly normal request for someone who is beginning to define her identity and I understand this must be very important for you." Anna smiled understandingly.

"Are you a shrink?" Masie furrowed her brows at the unexpected answer.

"No dearie I was a middle school teacher. English."

"Oh."

"Where are my manners? I should put the kettle on! Would you care to follow me to the kitchen?"

"You really don't-" Christina began.

"Nonsense! You bring me a grandchild I didn't know I had for most of her life and don't allow me to pamper her just a little bit? No wonder you drove my Adam so insane at times!" Anna moved towards the kitchen signaling for her visitors to follow her. On their way to the kitchen the music from the living room intensified and Masie didn't even realize she'd stop by the living room arch until she notices her mother and grandmother are not with her anymore.

An old man with sun pots sat in a robe at the piano playing what Masie didn't recall if it was Chopin or Mozart, her classical musical knowledge nowhere near her dad rock.

"Can he hear us?" She felt a hand on her shoulder and not recognizing it as Christina's figured Anna had come to get her.

"Unless you address him directly he won't respond. He likes his piano. Keeps him calm whenever he feels confused." Masie barely acknowledged the reply, too entranced by the delicate playing.

"Christina will you help me with some tea in the kitchen?" Anna asked as she walked Masie into the room and dragged a chair from the corner so she could sit by the old man at the piano.

"Of course…" Christina appeared at the arch, her breath hitching a little bit upon realizing what was about to happen.

"Don't be scared of Ol' Jules, we are right next door and he focuses better on you if there is nobody else in the room. Need anything just call ok?" Anna sat her down in the chair and nudged her husband slightly.

"Ok…" Masie replied was the women disappeared behind the arch and a pair of eyes identical to her own suddenly focused on her, puzzled.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So the victim was dating a dealer?" Lilly asked.

"Yes Detective Rush." Lacey replied, taping a mugshot to the glass board.

"You can lose the detective too." Scotty joked from his desk chair.

Lacey turned to her boss with quizzical eyebrows "Is that right or is Valens messing with me?"

"How come I don't get Detective Valens?" Scotty asked hurt as Kat and Nick hid their smiles behind their coffee mugs.

"Just Rush is fine, Lilly is too." Lilly smirked and walked over to Scotty's desk to lightly slap his shoulder with her case notes before stealing one of his pens and adding the new information to them as she leaned against the end of the desk.

"Ok Rush, yes the victim was involved with Clayton Richards for about 3 years prior to her death. Since then Richards has stopped contacting his family and no longer deals on the street but rather has smaller dealers come to him for supply. My buddy from narcotics says they are pretty close to busting him and gave me his current address. Wasn't happy about it, after we interrogate him he'll probably move again."

"A recluse dealer?" Vera's eyes lit up. "I know what that means… can we Boss?"

"Fine…" Lilly conceded in mock annoyance.

"No Drugs Today!" Scotty started to fish around his drawers for spare lighters while Vera started to put on his coat.

Lilly cleared her throat, drawing their attention back to her. "But you are taking Finch and Thomas with you and Vera is going to interview Marla."

"WHAT?" Vera cried.

"Vera called dibs on Marla so it's his interview." Miller almost cackled at the hurt look Nick Vera gave them all as he took his coat back off.

"But how come I have to take both of 'em ?" Scotty whispered to Lilly, startling her.

"You enjoyed yourself when Vera and Jeffries first took you out on it didn't you?"

"It was great! Just us guys…" Scotty thought back wistfully.

"And now women have finally cracked that last glass ceiling that was no drugs today. Congratulations Thomas." Lilly gave Lacey a pat on the shoulder and placed one of Scotty's lighters in her hand.

"Thanks… what's no drugs today?" The new recruit asked, looking over at the other young Detective and seeing her colleague equally confused.

"You'll see kids… you each bring a lighter and some Marshmallows too." Scotty threw on his winter coat and gestured to the two young detectives to follow him.

"I get the escort and Dad takes Benny and Tommy camping…" Vera moped at his desk earning a smack to the back of the head by an extremely amused Miller.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hum… hello Mister. Lovely playing you got going on there."

"Hello there, little lady! Aren't you the nice girl that brings us the paper?" Julian Sudayev had the same eyes she'd come to recognize as her father's from pictures and for a second, just one fleeting instant, Masie wondered if her father would have sounded like the old man.

"My name is Masie."

"How lovely! Are you here alone? It's getting dark, your mother and father must be getting concerned." Julian looked past her at a window, from which afternoon sunlight freely entered the living room.

"My mother is home and my father I've never met. He died before I was born."

Julian looked very sorry at her and remained quiet for a couple panic inducing seconds. "I'm sorry. You know, my father died in the winter of 1944 when my mother was 6 months pregnant with me."

"He did?" Masie stared blankly at her grandfather, not expecting an almost courtesy conversation to turn so serious so quickly.

"Yes. My parents had six other children to feed and lost the biggest bread-winner. My mother and father married young and had nine children: Kiril, Iosif, Vera, Viktorya, Yegor, Lucya, Maxim, Yana and me. Poor Yegor and Maxim died as babies but the girls, no, those were tough, each born strong-willed and stubborn like an ox."

"I've been told I'm very stubborn too…"

"You seem like it. You have the same look of defiance my sisters had in all the pictures." Masie's heart froze for a fraction of a second. "The two eldest were teenagers when Papa died, they had their hearts set on the life each wanted. The two eldest boys worked whatever job Mama told them to work. After Papa died, even with the working children bringing some money home, Mama couldn't provide for us all. My parents were very poor even when there were two of them. 3 of their children were under five years old and the eldest was 16."

"How did you make it?" Masie asked, the shock at being compared to elderly Russian women replaced with genuine interest for the family story.

"My mother had to make a hard choice. Her sister Elizabeta was living in Florida since marrying an American 20 years earlier. She wrote to Elizabeta to ask her to take the little ones, Lucya, Yana and me. Kirill made the trip with us alone just after turning 17. He got a job here, became an American and even went to Vietnam. He died there. What a shame…" Julian looked sadly at a picture of a young man with a boy around his shoulders on the mantle, which Masie assumed to be of her grandfather and great-uncle.

"How old where you?" She asked referring to the picture but getting a reply to something else.

"I was 4 months old when leaving Russia, Yana was one and Lucya was five, all I know about my parents is what my brother told me. Papa saw the Romanov children at the tercentenary when he was a boy. He remembered grand-duchess Anastasia like a picture. She looked like normal child in fancy clothes. It would kill him to know she died in Yekaterinburg after all. He was always rooting for the monarchy in secret. Mama was a serious woman, Kiril says she grew up quickly after she had her first baby and aged ten years with each new one. She loved me but had to let go. Neither Yana nor me remember anything."

"I don't remember my mother either. She couldn't look after me properly so I've lived with her sister since I was seven months old. She raised me as her own child and gave me the happiest childhood I could have had. Full of silliness, even coming from someone so put together and serious." Masie could not stop herself from speaking to the old man about her life, it paralleled hers so well it was a hard opportunity to pass, her mouth opened and spewed out more information before she could even think about what she was saying.

"Aunt Elizabeta was serious too but a mean serious. It was not an easy childhood you know? Cold war? I was born Yulian, my name was changed to Julian when I got here. I was told to never speak about Russia for our safety, the bits I knew were whispered to me by Kyril. Our last name was the one thing we wouldn't change, we pretended we had been here far longer and tried to be as American as possible. Not only couldn't I ask about my roots I couldn't even know my family. I always wondered what mama was really like, would she have liked me? Would I have been the favorite? Had she remarried and had more babies?" Masie could not believe how someone with such a different life from hers could say thoughts she herself had had multiple times so nonchalantly without the world falling apart. This old man was safe to talk to, he knew what was inside her head already even though he didn't even know who she was. And, illness and deceased son apart, he had lived a full life, was well adjusted and spoke about those deep intense feelings with a calm that could only mean she'd be okay someday. Maybe not tomorrow, or the day after but someday she'd be okay with what her life had been like, even if not ideal. And the added drama of not being able to talk about origins her grandfather went through! She asked mom about Christina several times and always got age-appropriate and honest answers and this man had to settle for secrets told by his brother? She had to know more, she had to talk to this man more, every bit of his life gave hers perspective and reassurance.

"I wondered those same things too sometimes when I was little. Maybe someday my other mother would show up and explain why she couldn't have taken me. I got those answers a couple months back but I found they were a lot to handle."

"I never got mine. We stopped exchanging letters with Russia after little bit for safety, I don't know what became of them." Julian looked at the picture in the mantle and sighed. He knew what had become of that one brother at least…

"Not a single one?" Masie stared at the same picture, she probably has a similar one of her and Uncle Scotty somewhere.

"I mean, I think Iosif joined the Red Army, Papa must have rolled in his grave. Vera married a boy mama didn't like when she was 16 because she was stubborn. I don't know if the marriage worked or if I have nieces or nephews from her. Viktorya… I never found out if she joined the convent after all or not, but I imagine so, women in my family are very strong-willed. Lucya went to university for history and became a writer after marrying. Yana was a physicist until her untimely death at 45, such a shame..." Masie got up and inspected the pictures on the mantle. There was one she assumed was of Julian and his sisters at one of their weddings next to one that seemed to be her grandparent's wedding day, around the late sixties.

"What about you?" She asked admiring the picture.

Julian noticed the picture his granddaughter was looking at and smiled. "I didn't go to university but I married my sweetheart Anna. Oh my dushenka Anna! She understood the mystery of Russia so well and like me never went there! She descended from actual monarchs, they moved to England and then to America but never lost their roots! The taboo only my brother could talk about was not taboo with her! She understood me like she saw my soul. The true love of my life. I didn't always give her the best but she never complained, she's tough like the Sudayevas, she wanted to work full time and she did. She was an English teacher. Our children grew up loving books, Maya became a lawyer and Adam a chemist. My boy. The headaches he gave me. I don't know where he is anymore. After surgery he was never same Adam you know? I think maybe something's not quite right in the head. Maybe the drugs. He's strong I don't think he'd take the pain pills. Probably that yeah, he's still in pain and is too stubborn to take the meds the idiot. "

On the other edge of the mantle a dead idiot stared back at Masie from a family photo, in a white button-up shirt next to a regal looking woman in a cream dress she figured must be her aunt Maya. They looked so normal, frozen in time. From the slight lines on his face the picture could not be from more than 5 years before his death, he was probably already using when it was taken. And much like now his father still had no clue. That painfully normal looking man could easily be mistaken for the picture that comes with the frame and yet the more she looked at it the more of herself she could see in him. She almost wanted to imagine Christina's head replacing her aunt's and herself standing between the two of them. But it felt wrong. That man only got to be her father genetically, her grandfather would probably never know they were related despite being a great conversationalist and the rest of this family she hadn't really gotten to know yet. It almost felt like being transplanted into a different life, a life she could have had in an alternate universe. But for now she liked living with her adoptive mom, and the squad, and getting to know Christina was turning out to be a positive experience. Maybe one day she'd come to this house and not stare so long at a dead man's face. Or maybe she would, she was raised by a woman that sleeps with pictures of murder victims on her bedside.

"I'm sorry I bored you sweetheart, is there anything more you need? Did my Anna pay for the paper route yet?" Julian interrupted her photo-induced trance and she noticed her grandmother peeking from the arch.

"Yes, sir."

"Then you best go home to parents, it's getting dark."

"I'll walk her Jules." Anna entered the living room and adjusted the blanket on her husband's lap, giving him a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Thank you dushenka. Goodbye Masie." He said as Anna walked their granddaughter out of the living room and into the kitchen where tea awaited them.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How did it go?" Lilly asked as Scotty entered her office and plopped himself on her couch, looking exhausted.

"You win…"

"We were playing something?"

"He tried to escape and Thomas had suggested we cover the wall but I ignored her because it would be stupid of him to climb it but when he did come out of the house he went straight for it and she caught him all by herself…" He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"She was good huh?" Lilly smirked.

"But she's not you. Close, but not you." He replied earning an eye roll.

"Should I give her the honor to put her first suspect in the box?"

"She deserves it."

"You want in too?"

"Nah." Scotty got up and moved to the door.

"Why not?"

"I think it would be a good time for her to witness what the Boss is capable of too." He smirked and left the door open behind him, just as two young Detectives walked a man in cuffs to the box.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Is he always like this?" Masie asked, setting down her empty tea mug once Cristina left the kitchen to use the bathroom before they left.

"I'm afraid so sweetheart." Anna replied sadly.

"Does he know-"

"That Adam is gone? When he passed the Alzheimer's was already too much for him to grasp that. I still don't have the heart to tell him when he is suddenly lucid."

"I wouldn't tell him either." Masie said, hearing the soft piano music emanating from the living room.

"You can come over to see us whenever you'd like. It wasn't easy but I made up with Christina." Anna proposed, sliding her phone number into Masie's coat pocket.

"I'm trying to do that myself." Masie stood up from the chair as she heard Christina's footsteps down the hall.

"You come from the Sudayevs little girl, if you decide you want to do something you will." Anna tucked a strand of hair behind Masie's ear and smiled, seeing a little spark in the blue eyes staring back at her she hadn't seen since her son had passed.

"Thank you. For today too."

"Mase you ready to go?" Christina asked as she entered the kitchen.

"Yeah."

"You are a very sweet girl. It was a pleasure to meet you." Anna said as she walked them out.

"You too."

"Tell that mother of yours that I like her already." Anna called after Masie as she closed the gate behind her and Christina started the car.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So this is it?" Lacey asked as she followed Lilly down the rows and rows of cardboard boxes.

"Yes it is." Ben replied taking the box from her and sliding it into the available slot near the top shelf.

"The case is officially closed?" She asked, more out of a need for reassurance rather than actual doubt.

"It's done. Good job Thomas. Welcome aboard." Lilly smiled.

"Thanks." Lacey beamed.

"Good job to the rest of you as well, something told me we could finish this one by tonight." Lilly continued.

"And good job to our new Boss." A voice from the stairwell added, said voice belonging to no other than John Stillman.

"BOSS!" The team almost yelped, all but the new girl who had only ever heard of John Stillman but never had a face to associate to the name.

"Just checking in on my team, heard you were already down here." Stillman said as he greeted the detectives one by one.

"The house is still standing." Scotty joked.

"I knew it would. This is the part where I invite you all to come to dinner and First Thursdays, I never threw a retirement party and we have some new blood to welcome." He nodded in the direction of Detective Thomas.

"Thanks Boss." Lilly hugged him before they started to walk up the stairs.

"You are welcome Boss." He proudly patted her shoulder.

"I might have to leave a bit early…" Lilly added.

"She's with Christina?"

"Yes."

"Any idea when they'll be back?" John asked.

"They've been to the Sudayevs' and are stopping by the grave before getting something to eat and hitting the road back." Scotty replied, not really remembering it wasn't him Stillman was talking to.

"She'll be fine Lil, stay with us until they are nearby." Vera said, following Scotty with Miller by his side.

"How bout they pick you up on the way home? You can celebrate your first day as Lieutenant properly and I promise I'll pick you up tomorrow morning." Scotty tried.

"Fine. Bring me breakfast too while you are at it." Lilly gave in as they reached the next floor and began towards the exit.

"She and Valens are a thing or?" Lacey tapped Ben on the shoulder and whispered, the two of them being the furthest away from their Boss, trailing behind Kat Miller.

"You kids have no business wondering about that!" Kat replied not even bothering to look at them.

"Sorry!" Lacey blushed in embarrassment and let herself fall a little bit more behind everyone else.

"But if they don't become a thing soon I'll smash their heads together." Kat mumbled to Vera earning a knowing chuckle from him before the two linked arms.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So this is it."

A well-kept headstone stood before them on the ground.

_Adam Theodore Sudayev._

_Jan 26__th__ 1972 – April 3__rd__ 2009_

_Beloved son, always in our hearts._

"It is." Christina replied.

"Did you come right after-"

"No. I couldn't even dream it until I'd been out of rehab for a couple months."

"Did you cry?"

"Not over him, over you quite a lot."

Their eyes remained glued to the headstone. Masie had never even known her dad's birthday before reading it there.

"I feel bad I don't feel all that sad." She confessed.

"It's ok sweetie, you never met him. He is an almost stranger to you."

"Would it be stupid to introduce myself?"

Christina hugged her to her side. "Not at all."

"Well here it goes. Hello there… dad. My name is Masie and I was born on the 29th October 2009. My favorite color is blue, I like math and Billy Joel. I have two best friends, Gabriel and Avery. I live with my biological Aunt and I love her very much. I met your parents today, they were lovely." Masie went quiet and buried her face in Christina's shoulder, frustrated.

"Are you ok?"

"I don't know what else to say to him."

"Do you want help?"

"If you want to talk to the headstone too…"

"Sure." Christina ran a hand down her daughter's cheek and took a deep breath. "Hi baby, I brought her. She's every bit as good and smart and stubborn as you predicted. I've been getting to know her these past few months, you would have loved her. And I know that wherever the hell you are now you are so proud of our girl. Please keep watching over us, you are always on my mind." She finished as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

"I… I like to think we'd have gotten along. I didn't get to know you but maybe in a different life we'll be family again… if you believe in that sort of stuff." Masie added unsure.

"He did." Christina hugged her daughter tighter before handing her a rose she'd been holding on to and letting her go.

"Bye Dad, we'll visit again sometime." Masie placed the flower across the top of the headstone carefully and nestled back into Christina's side as the two began walking towards the cemetery's exit.

**See you again in February, reviews are welcome.**


	5. February

"You sure you don't mind spending your Valentine's home with her?" Lilly asked, putting on her coat.  
"Go have fun with your friends before I make you." Christina pushed her towards the front door.

"It's just drinks with boss, Lacey and Scotty."

"You are the boss now." Masie smirked, sitting at the bottom of the stairs with one of the cats in her lap.

"I'll still call him that." Lilly replied.

"Then go." Christina opened the door and gestured to it.

"Mase you need anything?" She looked back.

"Go have fun woman!" Masie shooed her away and went into the living room.

"I'll try to come home not too late…" Lilly began.

"Bye Sis!" Christina closed the door on her and followed Masie to the couch.

"So what you wanna do?"

"Takeout and movies."

"Alright, I'm in."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Sorry I'm late, you know how kids can be." Lilly found her friends at a booth in an unfamiliar bar they'd decided to check out last minute.

"Kids or you?" Scotty joked.

"Watch out Scotty she can fire you now." Stillman proudly joked.

"She won't." He dismissed.

"Don't try me." Lilly plopped down next to Scotty, mockingly patting him on the shoulder.

"First round is on me, anyone being a chicken tonight?" Lacey asked as she reached for her wallet.

"Don't just yet kid, I better start paying for the rounds now, I'll have to leave soon." Stillman said.

"Leave to go where?" Scotty teased.

"I'm a gentleman, I won't tell."

"So Yates is in town?" Lilly smirked.

"Drinking with detectives, I don't know why I do this to myself still." Stillman muttered as he fished around his wallet for a bill.

"So you can impart your knowledge on the young." Lacey winked.

"You are training her well Lil." Stillman chuckled.

"And to financially support us." Lacey added, earning a nod of approval from her boss.

"You won't have to support me tonight boss, I have to drive home." Scotty said as Stillman prepared to get up from their booth.

"I could have been the designated driver Scotty."

"You got a kid, you need this more than me."

Before they could continue their bickering they heard Stillman clear his throat as a cocktail was placed in from of Lacey, the waiter pointing in the direction of a handsome man sitting at the bar winking at the youngest detective.

"I think I only need to support you Lil." Stillman left the booth slightly amused as he noticed a blush creep onto Detective Thomas' face.

"Why did he have to be cute?!" Lacey muttered before picking up the gifted drink and bolting in the direction of the handsome stranger.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"This is my second favorite takeout place."

"Why didn't you want your favorite?"

"It was closed down by inspection in September. They added sushi to the menu but weren't storing the fish properly."

"Ew." Christina stared at the anchovies in her slice of pizza, beginning to question all of her daughter's food-related decisions.

"They might reopen in the summer under new management."

"If you pester me enough I might give it a shot." Christina said, not even noticing she was technically making plans for several months in the future.

"Speaking of giving things a shot are you seeing anyone?" Masie blurted out, not event taking her eyes off her food.

"You really know how to slide into the tough questions don't you? No I'm not."

"Have you been with someone since-"

"I haven't." Christina cut in. "There was your father and then Cliff just sort of happened but I haven't really felt up to going back out there. I want to get my life together first then if someone nice comes along we'll see."

"Seems fair."

"How about you? Pretty girl like you spending Valentine's with me? You have your eye on any boy at school?"

"…No." Masie huffed.

"I won't tell Lil…"

"THERE'S NO BOY TO TALK ABOUT DAMMIT!" Masie retorted, hitting her slice of pizza on the table with enough strength for some olives to pop off it.

"You seem a little defensive sweetie…" Christina began, trying not to panic.

"I'm sorry, it's just not a topic I'm wild about."

"Are you mad at a boy?"

"Again, no boys to tell you about." Masie rolled her eyes.

"…Any girls to tell me about?" Christina tried.

"Avery had another sugar rush this week when she ate 4 Twinkies at recess, besides that nothing."

"Then if you have nothing to talk about why did you get so upset?"

"I think there might be something different about me."

"Different how?"

Masie set her food down and leaned back into the couch, taking a deep breath.

"Avery is always going on about boys' butts and stuff and I just don't get it. I can recognize when a boy is generically attractive but I don't react the way she does, I'm just indifferent. I thought I might be a lesbian because sometimes my eyes linger on girls in the locker room then I realized it's mostly me being jealous and sick of this stick-figure body I have. I want nothing to do with them either. So where does that leave me? Am I some Alien left here by mistake?"

"Maybe you are just a late bloomer, a lot of people don't really get interested into that sort of stuff until they are a bit older…"

"How much older?" Masie asked, in a voice so little she was already anticipating an unwanted answer.

"Well, I had a patient at the clinic that said he didn't give a damn about girls until he was 17…"

"17? What if I'm still like this in four years? Am I going to be alone forever? Or am I going to have to start pretending I like someone like that just to not be single forever?"

"Honey, it's ok to not be like everyone else. If you turn out to not feel attracted to anyone or have no interest in sex you won't be the first person in history, there are asexuals and demisexuals and if there's a name for it there have to be people like that out there somewhere. I can get you some literature on those topics if you feel they might resonate with you, there is no need to go into despair over that."

"Do you think I'll ever find a boyfriend or girlfriend that understands me? And is ok with me being this way?"

"If they aren't they weren't even worth your time to begin with, just see how things go. There's more to life than the romantic and sexual side there's still a lot of great things to enjoy, trust me. I've been celibate for years, it isn't half-bad-" Christina fell back in the armchair before she could even process the little blonde hurricane that had thrown her tiny arms around her neck in a nearly bone-crushing hug.

"Thank you." Masie said, not knowing how else to reply.

"Y- you're welcome kid." Christina let herself enjoy the surprise hug, pushing away all thoughts of the many more like this one she might have missed over the years.

"Now you had some movies you wanted to see?" Christina broke their hug and tucked a strand of Masie's hair behind her ear.

"I think we should start with Labyrinth and then I want to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's again." Masie opened her laptop and began searching for the films.

"Ok, I don't think I've ever seen either."

"I've been meaning to see Labyrinth for a while, the other one I've seen countless times."

Masie's eyes became transfixed in a promotional still from Labyrinth the host website had at the top of the page, almost hypnotized.

"Mase?"

"My chest is fluttering and I feel weird is something wrong with me?" Masie asked, not taking her eyes off Jareth the Goblin King.

"I wouldn't worry too much about the asexuality thing if I were you… and David Bowie is in other movies besides this one that we can watch too." Christina reached for another slice of pizza and settled in the armchair, more entertained by Masie's reactions to the film than the film itself.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Half an hour after Stillman left Scotty and Lilly were approached by a young couple that coyly asked them if they would be interested in giving swinging a shot with them. Lilly declined politely while Scotty was busy trying to make his face less red. After having a good laugh and finishing their drinks they decided to leave for First Thursday's in search of cheaper fries. Scotty went over to his new partner to tell her they were leaving and glance threateningly at her new friend and the two were off on their way.

"You think she'll be okay?" Lilly asked

"He shook a teeny bit when I stared him down, I think he won't get away with anything she doesn't go for."

"She's so young I forget she's not Masie's age."

"Oh to be young again… and to flirt with ADA's…" Scotty grinned.

"You are terrible." Lilly rolled her eyes.

"It's a curse Lil! We pick a different bar to get away from the people we know and we find a horde of ADA's!"

"Sounds like you are upset, you wanted to give Kite a shot?" Lilly mocked, running into her old partner's side when he stopped dead on his tracks.

"Is that Miller?" He asked, pointing in the direction of a restaurant's window.

"It is. Didn't she say she couldn't make it because Veronica was home from school?" Lilly ran every possible scenario through her head before settling on the obvious.

"She's not alone." She said, as a man with his back turned to them sat down across from Kat Miller.

"Do you think we know the guy?" Scotty asked.

Lilly's blood ran cold for a second; she would recognize that man's jacket anywhere. "I think we know him too well Scotty." The shock in her mind was quickly replaced by amusement.

"Nah! It can't be! It just can't!"

"But it is. It's Vera. And Miller." And just as she finished talking their friends leaned across the table for a quick kiss.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

One Labyrinth and one Absolute Beginners later, Masie sat on the floor in front of the TV while Christina braided her hair through Breakfast at Tiffany's, humming Moon River along with Audrey Hepburn.

"I have a bandana just like that one."

"You must look adorable in it."

"I wore it to school the other day, nobody else seemed to think so."

"What happened?"

"A boy ripped it off my head and hung it from a tree branch on my way to the bus home."

"Boys are stupid at this age, they don't think about why they do things."

"You can say that again…"

"Just ignore them until they grow up." Christina finished the first of two braids and playfully smacked her daughter's cheek with it, getting absolutely no reaction.

"Mase?"

"What if what they do is too revolting to ignore?" She asked, pausing the movie and turning around.

"Do you want to tell me something?"

"A bad thing happened at school this week. Not to me but it was horrible."

"Ok…"

"Mom found out from Aunt Allie and I avoided talking to her about it. I just don't want to talk to her about that, she's a cop, she might try to grill me until she's sure I won't be the next one… and I don't exactly know you all that well but the limited intimacy we have so far makes talking about it with you seem less serious and not so much like a 'big' talk and lik-"

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Well… do you remember Sam? She came to my birthday?"

"Yes."

"Well Sam started hanging with the popular kids not long after and she started dating a boy."

"Ok…"

"And said boy pressured her into doing things she didn't want to…"

"Oh God it's going to be one of these things!" Christina cried while rubbing her temples. Her terror of having brought a vulnerable young girl into a world dead-set on objectifying her jumped out from the back of her mind, where it was being kept at bay by concerns of a possible relapse or screwing up whatever scraps of a relationship she'd managed to establish with her family over a decade.

"They didn't go all the way! Just… mouth stuff… in the girl's bathroom." Masie clarified, visibly and audibly uncomfortable.

"And they got caught?"

"No… her boyfriend is a dickhead and started telling the whole school what they did. The other boys in our year lined the hallway to chant whore at her, I found her in the bathroom crying." Masie got up from her spot on the floor and let herself fall into the couch corner in defeat. Not a personal defeat but defeat that the story she had to tell ended that way.

"Oh dear…"

"Mom told me it's wrong to blackmail someone for sex acts." She stated, as if getting Christina up to par on what bases had already been covered.

"It is."

"But then the person who messed up on that one is a champ and the poor girl he got to do it is a pariah! It's just so unfair!" She yelled bitterly, clenching her fists and hitting them on the cushions so violently the remote flew off the couch.

"Oh sweetie come here." Christina opened her arms and Masie allowed herself to be taken into them. "I dreaded talks like these from the moment I knew you were a girl, not because I didn't want to have them but because I didn't want there to be a reason to have this conversation once you were old enough to see this crap happen. We can tell you wonderful things about your potential, and all the things you can grow up to be one day but we can't erase how not fair the world is for women overnight, if that was possible somebody would already have done it."

"I know it is unfair but it just…"

"What sweetie?"

"It makes me so damn angry!" She cried, hitting her knee with her fist way harder than she meant to.

"You have all the right to be angry. If you weren't angry you would not be human."

"But then I wanted to make something good out of my anger and asked the principal if we could organize an assembly about consent and he said no!" She sighed exasperatedly.

"Did he give you a reason?"

"He said he was afraid Sam would be even more shamed if everyone had to stay after school to hear a lecture because of her."

"That sounds like a cop out…"

"I know! I did everything I've been taught to handle this and I failed…" She covered her face to hide a trembling lip.

"You didn't fail at anything girl." Christina ran her arms down Masie's arm, scooting closer to her.

"Yeah I did, that gum chewer idiot still thinks he's the man! Stupid jerk…"

"Mase, if fighting for what is right were easy more people would do it."

"I know…"

"But giving up is not a solution to the problem is it?"

"No…"

"Then what can you do next?"

"Think of something else? Try again?"

"What if you expand the themes of the assembly you proposed? Instead of just consent you could add themes like mental health, drug addiction and sexuality. Basically a guide of things you kids should know before heading off to high school next year. The principal could no longer use that crappy excuse on something that general."

"That would be great actually. I bet our guidance counselor could help me sell him on that idea, she likes me you see; me and Bev go way back." Masie joked.

"I have some colleagues I could probably get to come to your school. I used to have this coworker that was sexually abused as a preteen and grew up to be a therapist specialized in handling cases similar to hers, she sometimes even does talks at schools! What do you say?"

"Thank you so much!" Masie crushed her into a hug for the second time that night.

"I'm just trying to help. You were already super brave and mature by proposing such a thing to a principal on your own, I couldn't be more proud. The world needs to thank Lil for how well you've turned out so far."

"I think I want to be just a little bit braver tonight though…"

"What do you have in mind kid? There will be no extreme sports on my watch!" Christina joked.

"You worked at a salon for a while didn't you?"

"I did."

"Do you think you can give me Audrey's hairstyle?"

Christina looked at the frozen frame on the TV and analyzed the forehead to bang-length Ms. Hepburn was sporting, finding it to be doable but a little risky.

"Let's call your mom first…" She answered, reaching for her phone.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

From the backseat of a car parked across the street from a restaurant window, two middle-aged people spied on their friends, passing a set of binoculars back and forth between the two of them.

"You think we'll ever do this to Masie when she has her first date?" Scotty asked, alternating his gaze from their targets and Lilly.

"She'll be in college if that happens, I'll find out about it when she brings him/her home to meet me only. And you should really get some less cartoony binoculars to keep in your trunk if you plan on being paranoid enough to carry them with you, you make the rest of us look bad."

"You that sure?"

"Of my daughter's intelligence and self-assuredness being intimidating to all boys that could be even potentially in the same sating pool as her until at least the age of 20 or of you not owning binoculars fit for a great cop like you?"

"Point taken Rush." Scotty shrugged, noticing how the binoculars were nearly the same size as Lilly's head and had probably been used for bird-watching or some other nonsense before he got them second-hand.

"This is sorta sweet." Lilly said, giving Scotty back the binoculars.

"If a little disturbing, Vera and Miller sitting in a tree and all." Scotty joked.

"I'll have that image of them kissing seared into my brain for days, it will not leave no matter what." Lilly mock-cringed.

"Don't be such a fuddy duddy, it's the most romantic day of the year Lil!"

"Since when do you use words like fuddy-duddy? You spend too much time with the kids Valens. And since when you believe in this Valentine's crap?"

"Since I found a reason to." He replied, putting away the binoculars and looking her dead in the eyes.

"And that reason is?" Lilly asked, incapable of looking away from him until she caught a shadow out of the corner of her eye.

"THEY ARE COMING OUT SCOTTY!" Nick Vera and Kat Miller where getting up from their table and leaving the restaurant, a car having pulled up just in front of it.

"OH SHIT!" Scotty tried to fish his car keys form his pocket, not realizing amidst the panic that they were already in the ignition.

"Don't just stay there, do something!" Lilly shouted, running all possible options through her head.

"Like what? Hope they don't recognize the license plate?" He asked, right before he felt her hands hit his shoulders and the weight of her body on his, the two of them suddenly laying across the backseat so the car would appear empty in case someone happened to recognize the plates. He knew there was nothing intentionally romantic about what they were doing, but a flash of their kiss from Christmas absolutely polluted his mind and he was left more impulsive than he'd been in years.

"Wanna know the reason?" He asked, both of them nearly breathless from the tension alone.

"Wha-" Lil could not finish her sentence before Scotty caught her by surprise with a kiss. Even more surprising was how she went with it and kissed him back almost reflexively, hands roaming all over him, completely incapable of processing what was happening.

Scotty was in pure bliss. He knew it couldn't possibly last forever. There was no universe in which another impulse kiss would lead to everything he wanted. It did seem however, that there was a Universe where an impulse kiss would lead to a heated make-out with his former partner that would put everything teenaged Scotty did in a backseat to absolute shame. Lilly Rush had found a spot behind his ear that he'd realize years prior left him completely useless as a thinking human and his hands were working their way down her shirt, undoing buttons like there was no tomorrow. He was so dumbfounded at what they were doing that he could swear he could hear music, only the music was real. And so was the deer-in-headlights look Lilly gave him when she tore her mouth from him and grabbed her ringing phone from her back pocket.

"Rush." She answered, breathing heavily.

"Hey, sweetie…" She was sitting behind the passenger seat, as far from Scotty she could without getting out of the car.

"No, everything is alright Mase." He could have told from her voice alone that something had happened, Masie being able to do the same did not surprise him in the least.

"I said everything is alright now why did you call?" He had taken the opportunity to try to calm himself down, pressing is cheek against the cool window only to realize his boss was doing the exact same thing on her side of the car, her chest only now starting to rise and fall at a reasonable pace.

"You want her to do what?" He had to take the time the phone call was giving him to think of what to say about what had just happened, it did not seem like the night to come clean about his feelings. Not all of them at least.

"If you hate it don't come crying to me about then." Lilly was barely able to care about a haircut right now, she was much more concerned with how her make-out with Scotty would have ended without a call about bangs. And with just how right kissing Scotty back had felt, proving Christmas could not be just an accident.

"It's a mom yes not a yes-yes."

"Love you too, I'll be home soon."

Scotty looked in the rearview mirror, Vera and Miller were clearly gone out of both the street and their minds. Lilly looked in that same mirror and saw incredibly disheveled hair on both of them, swollen lips and visible skin until the point where a camisole she'd worn under her shirt had kept some modesty. Their eyes caught in the mirror, and then it began a race to see which would be brave enough to speak first.

"Scotty, what are we doing?" She asked.

"I don't know it just started… I started! I take full responsibility for this one."

"I didn't really help you stop either, if anything it is both of us at fault here."

"I should not have manhandled you like that, you deserve better."

"Stop apologizing please." She pleaded.

"Should I?" He asked, trying to bury the flicker of hope that nearly swallowed him in an instant.

"This is way over the line." She declared.

"It is." He agreed, his heart screaming at him.

"I don't know what you've been doing to me lately but this can't go on. This is not what we are. We are very close friends and coworkers."

"You can say boss ya know? My ego can take it." He tried to joke.

"I can't make sense of this Scotty. I can't make sense of you. To some extent I can't even make sense of myself."

"I'll drive you home. Tomorrow we'll be just very close friends and coworkers until someday when you think you can make sense of what this was we'll bring up the topic again." He proposed.

"Thank you."

"But let me make this very clear," He began, his hurt heart taking over his mouth. "nobody on this Earth matters more to me than you Lil. You are not just a close friend, you are my best friend. And if whatever that was just now takes my friend way from me I want you to just forget about it. I love ya, ya know?"

"Scotty…"

"I won't let you go easily… Boss." He added, breaking the tension that had been left in the backseat and earning a chuckle from an almost teary-eyed Lilly.

"I love you too Scotty." She hugged him in the most platonic and simultaneously intimate way imaginable and he knew it wasn't the version of those words he longed to hear. That didn't mean it didn't soothe his soul a great deal to hear them said with such honesty anyway.

"Come on, let me take you home to your girl." He said as they fixed themselves up and moved to the passenger and driver's seats.

She turned on the radio only for the car to be inundated with "I'm not in love" by 10cc and to be turned off almost as quickly as it came on.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Weird. That was how the drive back home had been. That was what Masie had called her when she walked from the front door to her room in what felt like a trance. That was how she felt lying awake in bed, long after laying down. That was how it felt to accidentally brush Scotty's hand in the office kitchen the next morning when they both reached for the sugar at the same time.

"Mornin'" She tried to dismiss, despite catching an adorable faint blush on his face. Since when did she find him blushing adorable? Or even endearing?

"Mornin'." He replied, taking a swig of his coffee, pretending he hadn't just burned his tongue a little.

"You ok?" She asked, noticing the grimace.

"Yeah, no hangover to be found. You?"

"Almost as if I'd been sober all night as well." They smilled politely at each other and walked towards the desks, finding Vera had just arrived.

"Mornin'." He greeted.

"You have a spring in your step today Vera." Lilly joked, looking over at Scotty hiding a grin behind his coffee mug.

"Just in a good mood." Vera replied, humming a little tune has he began going through files. It just so happened to be the same tune Miller came in humming as well, making Lilly and Scotty wonder if they had always been so obvious and the rest of the squad had just been in denial.

"Good Morning." Kat greeted, sitting down at her desk and continuing to hum absentmindedly.

Scotty was grinning at Lilly so much his face was beginning to hurt and, while her face remained blank, her eyes were cackling back at him. They would still have this. Whatever happened with them, they would still be these people no matter what kind of relationship they ended up having.

"Where's Tommy?" Vera asked, noticing nobody had complained about him setting his coffee down on the desk next to his like he'd grown used to since Lacey had joined them.

"She may be a little late today, she texted me." Lilly replied.

"She met anyone while she was out with you old folks?" Miller asked raising her brow.

"She did and he was cute." Lilly answered.

"And an ADA." Scotty asked, getting a much deserved eye roll from his boss.

"So because she has the boss seal of approval she can be late to work?" Vera complained.

"Let the girl live a little Vera, besides," She stared at Scotty, warning him of what she was about to say next. "I'm a very benevolent boss when it comes to my subordinates and relationships." Scotty spit out his coffee as Lilly turned around and entered her office, amused by how much entertainment she would derive until the day Kat or Nick finally cracked and made their relationship public.


End file.
